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Adam Carolla Quotes

I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs Picture Quote #1

There are certain things women are better at than men Picture Quote #1

People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on Picture Quote #1

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars Picture Quote #1

No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear Picture Quote #1

Don’t do your best, do my best Picture Quote #1

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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful Picture Quote #1

I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick Picture Quote #1

Mmm, tastes like hepatitis! Picture Quote #1

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside Picture Quote #1

The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car Picture Quote #1

I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex Picture Quote #1

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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go Picture Quote #1

I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars Picture Quote #1

When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much Picture Quote #1

When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds Picture Quote #1

I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed Picture Quote #1

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why Picture Quote #1

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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything Picture Quote #1

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it Picture Quote #1

I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age Picture Quote #1

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’ Picture Quote #1

Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average Picture Quote #1

I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care Picture Quote #1

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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food Picture Quote #1

Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff Picture Quote #1

My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine Picture Quote #1

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings Picture Quote #1

You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home and wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting Picture Quote #1

Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs (Adam Carolla Quotes) There are certain things women are better at than men (Adam Carolla Quotes) People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on (Adam Carolla Quotes) My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars (Adam Carolla Quotes) No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear (Adam Carolla Quotes) Don’t do your best, do my best (Adam Carolla Quotes) People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful (Adam Carolla Quotes) I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick. (Adam Carolla Quotes) Mmm, tastes like hepatitis! (Adam Carolla Quotes) The very definition of 'beauty' is outside (Adam Carolla Quotes) The Aston Martin is a beautiful car. It’s a work of art, I love the interior and the style of the car. (Adam Carolla Quotes) I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex. (Adam Carolla Quotes) A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go. (Adam Carolla Quotes) I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars (Adam Carolla Quotes) When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much (Adam Carolla Quotes) When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds. (Adam Carolla Quotes) I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed (Adam Carolla Quotes) I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why (Adam Carolla Quotes) It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything (Adam Carolla Quotes) In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it (Adam Carolla Quotes) I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age (Adam Carolla Quotes) The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’ (Adam Carolla Quotes) Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average (Adam Carolla Quotes) I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care (Adam Carolla Quotes) I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food (Adam Carolla Quotes) Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff (Adam Carolla Quotes) My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine. (Adam Carolla Quotes) I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings. (Adam Carolla Quotes) You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home and wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting. (Adam Carolla Quotes) Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff (Adam Carolla Quotes)

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