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Alan Coren Quotes
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The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you (Alan Coren Quotes)
Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren’t called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?) (Alan Coren Quotes)
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by.... (Alan Coren Quotes)
To have a grievance is to have a purpose in life (Alan Coren Quotes)
Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea (Alan Coren Quotes)
Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come (Alan Coren Quotes)
Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread (Alan Coren Quotes)
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear (Alan Coren Quotes)
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room (Alan Coren Quotes)
I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things (Alan Coren Quotes)
Since both its national products, snow and chocolate, melt, the cuckoo clock was invented solely in order to give tourists something solid to remember it by (Alan Coren Quotes)
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things (Alan Coren Quotes)
Can anything match that first fine discovery of the telephone and all it stood for? That first realization that, contained within ten simple digits, lay the infinitely possible? Out there... lay six billion ears, all the people in the world available for contact and mystery and insult, unable to resist the beckoning of one small and villainous forefinger (Alan Coren Quotes)
All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons (Alan Coren Quotes)
Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of the country is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers (Alan Coren Quotes)
A humorist tells himself every morning, I hope it’s going to be a rough day. When things are going well, it’s much harder to make the right jokes (Alan Coren Quotes)