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Ambrose Bierce Quotes

PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action Picture Quote #1

OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one’s environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets Picture Quote #1

Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work Picture Quote #1

Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first Picture Quote #1

Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises Picture Quote #1

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does Picture Quote #1

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Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: ‘Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.’ Picture Quote #1

PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull Picture Quote #1

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan Picture Quote #1

Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing Picture Quote #1

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next Picture Quote #1

RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless Picture Quote #1

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MAMMON, n. The God of the world’s leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York Picture Quote #1

REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian Picture Quote #1

RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem Picture Quote #1

Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat Picture Quote #1

WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication Picture Quote #1

SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance Picture Quote #1

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ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one’s whole life long Picture Quote #1

PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives Picture Quote #1

ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble Picture Quote #1

REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted Picture Quote #1

PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool’s name for the affection between a disability and a frost Picture Quote #1

QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman’s name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay Picture Quote #1

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REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress Picture Quote #1

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only Picture Quote #1

PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place Picture Quote #1

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas Picture Quote #1

REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion Picture Quote #1

TAIL, n. The part of an animal’s spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

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Text Quotes

PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one’s environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit it is the first (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Hippogriff, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, only one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: ‘Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.’ (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) RICH, adj. Holding in trust and subject to an accounting the property of the indolent, the incompetent, the unthrifty, the envious and the luckless (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) MAMMON, n. The God of the world’s leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) RACK, n. An argumentative implement formerly much used in persuading devotees of a false faith to embrace the living truth. As a call to the unconverted the rack never had any particular efficacy, and is now held in light popular esteem (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one’s whole life long (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) ROSTRUM, n. In Latin, the beak of a bird or the prow of a ship. In America, a place from which a candidate for office energetically expounds the wisdom, virtue and power of the rabble (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool’s name for the affection between a disability and a frost (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman’s name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion (Ambrose Bierce Quotes) TAIL, n. The part of an animal’s spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)

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