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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It’s one of the curses of London (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
IMPARTIAL, adj. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Photograph is a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Nature’s fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Hand, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and commonly thrust into somebody’s pocket (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man’s choice, and is highly prized (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
FREEBOOTER, n. A conqueror in a small way of business, whose annexations lack of the sanctifying merit of magnitude (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both - as Walt Whitman’s poetry and God’s mercy to man (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)