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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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MYTHOLOGY, n. The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one’s credibility for future delivery (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
RECOUNT, n. In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor’s uneasiness (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
ADMINISTRATION, n. An ingenious abstraction in politics, designed to receive the kicks and cuffs due to the premier or president. A man of straw, proof against bad-egging and dead-catting (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
Grammar, n. A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet of the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number - just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
COMMENDATION n. The tribute that we pay to achievements that resembles but do not equal our own (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
DEGRADATION, n. One of the stages of moral and social progress from private station to political preferment (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many other goodly sons and daughters (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
DEJEUNER, n. The breakfast of an American who has been in Paris. Variously pronounced (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)