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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh’s heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
IDLENESS, n. A model farm where the devil experiments with seeds of new sins and promotes the growth of staple vices (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
IMBECILITY, n. A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
IMPENITENCE, n. A state of mind intermediate in point of time between sin and punishment (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry ourselves is lightest in the hands and heaviest upon the back (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another’s treasure (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men’s wives (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MANICHEISM, n. The ancient Persian doctrine of an incessant warfare between Good and Evil. When Good gave up the fight the Persians joined the victorious Opposition (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign’s hostility (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology’s noblest contribution to the development of our language (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman’s adoration (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
NOBLEMAN, n. Nature’s provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
OBLIVION, n. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)
OVATION, n. N ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser triumph (Ambrose Bierce Quotes)