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Andy Kindler Quotes

I can open up any can of worms and get people upset Picture Quote #1

I don’t like any nastiness on tv unless it’s coming from me Picture Quote #1

I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen’s show and were disappointed. That didn’t seem very organized! That guy’s all over the map! Picture Quote #1

I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy Picture Quote #1

If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn’t work that way... I have no interest in hurting people’s feelings Picture Quote #1

I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That’s why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline Picture Quote #1

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Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One’s called It’s Getting Muggy In Here Picture Quote #1

I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It’s such a tricky thing; you don’t want to make rules about it. There’s nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he’d break every rule you set up. But he’s funny Picture Quote #1

Alexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone! Picture Quote #1

I feel completely fearless when I’m on stage. And also totally fearful. There’s the fear that I’m not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there’s the stronger belief that these things need to be said Picture Quote #1

I believe at the end of my career I’ll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame Picture Quote #1

I do have insecurities. I don’t know if you can tell. I’m not brimming with confidence Picture Quote #1

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I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory Picture Quote #1

Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan’s show, Conan O’Brien was so offended by Larry’s material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended Picture Quote #1

I wanted to like ‘Up in the Air’ - I like Jason Reitman - but Vera Farmiga left me cold Picture Quote #1

Ever since I’ve switched to the clean syringes, I’ve never felt better in my entire life Picture Quote #1

I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I’m in a deli somewhere, and someone says they love that Adam Sandler movie where he dresses up as his twin sister - well, I don’t want to make people feel bad for how they feel about things. I’m always courteous, not mean Picture Quote #1

I don’t hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more Picture Quote #1

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I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I’ve never seen a town like this. It’s supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face Picture Quote #1

I’ve sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone Picture Quote #1

I’m interested in Jeff Bridges. I love that guy. And I did like Carey Mulligan in ‘An Education.’ And I love Meryl Streep, but if they could ban ‘Julie and Julia,’ I’d be in favor of that Picture Quote #1

They shouldn’t call anything a boot camp unless you’re going off to war. Standup boot camp has been a fantastic thing, for the people putting it on. They keep you out in the woods and won’t let you come back until you’re funny. Lenny Bruce came up with his Religions Inc. bit on a day hike Picture Quote #1

I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don’t think I was born in this country Picture Quote #1

Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel Picture Quote #1

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I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for ‘Modern Romance.’ I love that movie Picture Quote #1

I’m tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that Picture Quote #1

I don’t remember much about my bar mitzvah. The only thing I remember - I killed! That’s what I remembered. Nobody could follow me at my bar-mitzvah. It was over when I was done Picture Quote #1

I’m still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I’m going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I’m going after Hitler Picture Quote #1

The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it’s pretty ludicrous Picture Quote #1

I try to go out for everything. I go out for any acting stuff that comes up, and voice-over stuff Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I can open up any can of worms and get people upset (Andy Kindler Quotes) I don’t like any nastiness on tv unless it’s coming from me (Andy Kindler Quotes) I have no sympathy for the people who went to Charlie Sheen’s show and were disappointed. That didn’t seem very organized! That guy’s all over the map! (Andy Kindler Quotes) I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy. (Andy Kindler Quotes) If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn’t work that way... I have no interest in hurting people’s feelings. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That’s why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline. (Andy Kindler Quotes) Kevin James is going to do a couple of specials. One’s called It’s Getting Muggy In Here. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It’s such a tricky thing; you don’t want to make rules about it. There’s nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he’d break every rule you set up. But he’s funny. (Andy Kindler Quotes) Alexander Graham Bell was the first person to ever sarcastically say hello. Hellooo, I invented the telephone! (Andy Kindler Quotes) I feel completely fearless when I’m on stage. And also totally fearful. There’s the fear that I’m not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there’s the stronger belief that these things need to be said. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I believe at the end of my career I’ll be retired into the recurring character hall of fame (Andy Kindler Quotes) I do have insecurities. I don’t know if you can tell. I’m not brimming with confidence. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I believe conspiracy theories are part of a larger conspiracy to distract us from the real conspiracy. String theory. (Andy Kindler Quotes) Once when Larry the Cable Guy was on Conan’s show, Conan O’Brien was so offended by Larry’s material, he had to walk away from the desk he was so offended. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I wanted to like ‘Up in the Air’ - I like Jason Reitman - but Vera Farmiga left me cold (Andy Kindler Quotes) Ever since I’ve switched to the clean syringes, I’ve never felt better in my entire life (Andy Kindler Quotes) I have so many strong opinions on the entertainment industry, but if I’m in a deli somewhere, and someone says they love that Adam Sandler movie where he dresses up as his twin sister - well, I don’t want to make people feel bad for how they feel about things. I’m always courteous, not mean. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I don’t hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more (Andy Kindler Quotes) I was in Philadelphia - a very angry town, Philadelphia. I’ve never seen a town like this. It’s supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love - like when my brother was 12 and I was nine, and he would lean on my shoulder and dangle spit in my face. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I’ve sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I’m interested in Jeff Bridges. I love that guy. And I did like Carey Mulligan in ‘An Education.’ And I love Meryl Streep, but if they could ban ‘Julie and Julia,’ I’d be in favor of that. (Andy Kindler Quotes) They shouldn’t call anything a boot camp unless you’re going off to war. Standup boot camp has been a fantastic thing, for the people putting it on. They keep you out in the woods and won’t let you come back until you’re funny. Lenny Bruce came up with his Religions Inc. bit on a day hike. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don’t think I was born in this country. (Andy Kindler Quotes) Comedy Central made their own awards show. They were named best comedy channel. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for ‘Modern Romance.’ I love that movie. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I’m tired of demographic appeal being more important than talent. I want to fight against that. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I don’t remember much about my bar mitzvah. The only thing I remember - I killed! That’s what I remembered. Nobody could follow me at my bar-mitzvah. It was over when I was done. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I’m still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I’m going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I’m going after Hitler. (Andy Kindler Quotes) The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it’s pretty ludicrous. (Andy Kindler Quotes) I try to go out for everything. I go out for any acting stuff that comes up, and voice-over stuff. (Andy Kindler Quotes)

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