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Art Buchwald Quotes

I just don’t want to die the same day Castro dies Picture Quote #1

It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh Picture Quote #1

When we grieve, tears and guilt get mixed together Picture Quote #1

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it Picture Quote #1

The buffalo isn’t as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo Picture Quote #1

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn’t let me - Homeland Security Picture Quote #1

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While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country’s problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school Picture Quote #1

New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets Picture Quote #1

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening Picture Quote #1

The reason I don’t play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again Picture Quote #1

Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself Picture Quote #1

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page Picture Quote #1

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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech Picture Quote #1

I earned my stripes as a Marine, and the Corps gets full credit for straightening me out. At 17, I was young, I was unhappy and most of all, I was undisciplined. The Marine Corps was the right service in the right place at the right time Picture Quote #1

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I’m going first class Picture Quote #1

The best way to clean up a son’s room is to close the door and pretend it’s not part of the house Picture Quote #1

There isn’t a child who hasn’t gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn’t return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes Picture Quote #1

Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got Picture Quote #1

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You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it Picture Quote #1

The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties Picture Quote #1

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women Picture Quote #1

This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys Picture Quote #1

I don’t know what’s coming next and neither does anyone else. It’s something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don’t want to face it. And there’s denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it Picture Quote #1

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got Picture Quote #1

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People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time Picture Quote #1

On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive Picture Quote #1

Television has a real problem. They have no page two Picture Quote #1

Don’t commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later Picture Quote #1

The things that matter most are not things Picture Quote #1

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I just don’t want to die the same day Castro dies (Art Buchwald Quotes) It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh. (Art Buchwald Quotes) When we grieve, tears and guilt get mixed together (Art Buchwald Quotes) A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it (Art Buchwald Quotes) The buffalo isn’t as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo (Art Buchwald Quotes) This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn’t let me - Homeland Security (Art Buchwald Quotes) While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country’s problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school (Art Buchwald Quotes) New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets (Art Buchwald Quotes) Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening (Art Buchwald Quotes) The reason I don’t play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again (Art Buchwald Quotes) Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself (Art Buchwald Quotes) I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page (Art Buchwald Quotes) ... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech (Art Buchwald Quotes) I earned my stripes as a Marine, and the Corps gets full credit for straightening me out. At 17, I was young, I was unhappy and most of all, I was undisciplined. The Marine Corps was the right service in the right place at the right time (Art Buchwald Quotes) I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I’m going first class. (Art Buchwald Quotes) The best way to clean up a son’s room is to close the door and pretend it’s not part of the house. (Art Buchwald Quotes) There isn’t a child who hasn’t gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn’t return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes. (Art Buchwald Quotes) Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got (Art Buchwald Quotes) You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it. (Art Buchwald Quotes) The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties (Art Buchwald Quotes) An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women (Art Buchwald Quotes) This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys (Art Buchwald Quotes) I don’t know what’s coming next and neither does anyone else. It’s something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don’t want to face it. And there’s denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it (Art Buchwald Quotes) Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got (Art Buchwald Quotes) People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time (Art Buchwald Quotes) On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive (Art Buchwald Quotes) Television has a real problem. They have no page two (Art Buchwald Quotes) Don’t commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later (Art Buchwald Quotes) The things that matter most are not things (Art Buchwald Quotes) The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water (Art Buchwald Quotes)

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