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Art Buchwald Quotes

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot’s asleep Picture Quote #1

I worship the quicksand he walks in Picture Quote #1

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? Picture Quote #1

I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me Picture Quote #1

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team Picture Quote #1

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it Picture Quote #1

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Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before Picture Quote #1

Television has a real problem. They have no page two. Consequently every big story gets the same play and comes across to the viewer as a really big, scary one Picture Quote #1

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was Picture Quote #1

There isn’t a child who hasn’t gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn’t return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes Picture Quote #1

I became a hero to everyone because I didn’t take dialysis and was still alive Picture Quote #1

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time Picture Quote #1

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You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it Picture Quote #1

Writing humor in my column isn’t as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer Picture Quote #1

I don’t know whether it’s normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do Picture Quote #1

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing Picture Quote #1

I have no idea where I’m going but here’s the real question: What am I doing here in the first place? Picture Quote #1

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are Picture Quote #1

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Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life Picture Quote #1

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is only time we have Picture Quote #1

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was Picture Quote #1

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I’m getting even... For me, being funny is the best revenge Picture Quote #1

The best way to clean up a son’s room is to close the door and pretend it’s not part of the house Picture Quote #1

If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time Picture Quote #1

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Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people Picture Quote #1

It was a dangerous profession I had chosen... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh Picture Quote #1

I don’t know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it’s the only time you’ve got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy Picture Quote #1

Every once in a while your world stands still... There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long after the person is gone Picture Quote #1

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week Picture Quote #1

I didn’t go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I’d done everything I wanted, or so I thought Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot’s asleep (Art Buchwald Quotes) I worship the quicksand he walks in (Art Buchwald Quotes) Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? (Art Buchwald Quotes) I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me (Art Buchwald Quotes) I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team (Art Buchwald Quotes) If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it (Art Buchwald Quotes) Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before (Art Buchwald Quotes) Television has a real problem. They have no page two. Consequently every big story gets the same play and comes across to the viewer as a really big, scary one (Art Buchwald Quotes) Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was (Art Buchwald Quotes) There isn’t a child who hasn’t gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn’t return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes (Art Buchwald Quotes) I became a hero to everyone because I didn’t take dialysis and was still alive (Art Buchwald Quotes) We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time (Art Buchwald Quotes) You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you’re doing is recording it (Art Buchwald Quotes) Writing humor in my column isn’t as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer (Art Buchwald Quotes) I don’t know whether it’s normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do (Art Buchwald Quotes) War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing (Art Buchwald Quotes) I have no idea where I’m going but here’s the real question: What am I doing here in the first place? (Art Buchwald Quotes) This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are (Art Buchwald Quotes) Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life (Art Buchwald Quotes) Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is only time we have (Art Buchwald Quotes) Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new type program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was (Art Buchwald Quotes) People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I’m getting even... For me, being funny is the best revenge (Art Buchwald Quotes) The best way to clean up a son’s room is to close the door and pretend it’s not part of the house (Art Buchwald Quotes) If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time (Art Buchwald Quotes) Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people (Art Buchwald Quotes) It was a dangerous profession I had chosen... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh (Art Buchwald Quotes) I don’t know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it’s the only time you’ve got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy (Art Buchwald Quotes) Every once in a while your world stands still... There are certain friendships that are so important they leave a mark on you long after the person is gone (Art Buchwald Quotes) Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week (Art Buchwald Quotes) I didn’t go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I’d done everything I wanted, or so I thought (Art Buchwald Quotes)

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