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Augusten Burroughs Quotes

The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do Picture Quote #1

If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class Picture Quote #1

But I think I would have been happier if the only thing that came out of his mouth was the sound of a turning page Picture Quote #1

We tried to everything right, now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working Picture Quote #1

We tried to do everything right. Now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working Picture Quote #1

It's neat how money smells nothing like anything in the world except money, just like cardboard Picture Quote #1

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We had a wealth of something we didn't want, but the wealth itself was intoxicating and we invented games just so we could experience the sensation of having too much of something Picture Quote #1

We never sampled our drugs because we were afraid of them, but to admit it aloud would have broken the spell Picture Quote #1

I said all the wrong things. Except when I was busy saying all the mean ones and in the end I hated everybody and everything Picture Quote #1

You weren't heavy at all... the only weight you carry is on your shoulders. I wish I could carry it for you Picture Quote #1

I understand why sometimes people speak in cliches because sometimes there is no other way to describe something Picture Quote #1

When you have a blueprint for what happiness is, lay it over your life and see what you need to change so the images are more aligned Picture Quote #1

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The events of the past cannot be fully understood when you are the only element of the past actively engaged in reliving it Picture Quote #1

And as soon as I thought this, I tried to think of something else quickly. Because we were so close that I felt sometimes like she could read my mind Picture Quote #1

It is always safe to see yourself truthfully. You never have to be ashamed of yourself, with yourself Picture Quote #1

I had the same worry that we wouldn't later be able to undo whatever it was we were doing to ourselves Picture Quote #1

All children should be loved, protected, nurtured - emotionally and intellectually - respected, and never, under any circumstances, underestimated. Especially, most essentially, by themselves Picture Quote #1

Truth is accuracy. Without accuracy, you can't expect to manifest large, specific changes in your life Picture Quote #1

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At that moment it would have been easier for me to spontaneously grasp quantum string theory Picture Quote #1

It then occurs to me that I am mentally unstable. So I decided to close my office door and go online. Maybe I can do some research and find out what's wrong with my personality and then fix it Picture Quote #1

Truthfulness itself is almost medicinal, even when it's served without advice or insight. Just hearing true words spoken out loud provides relief Picture Quote #1

Being an unhappy person does not mean you must be sad or dark. You can be interested instead of happy. You can be fascinated instead of happy Picture Quote #1

Think of the actual physical elements that compose our bodies: we are 98 percent hydrogen and oxygen and carbon. That's table sugar. You are made of the same stuff as table sugar Picture Quote #1

Truth is not an opinion. It's a force like gravity. It's the most valuable substance known to man Picture Quote #1

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You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever Picture Quote #1

I hate news and information and anything that threatens to puncture the bubble of oblivion in which I live Picture Quote #1

He likes people because he likes to share in conversations. I like people when they have large checks for me Picture Quote #1

My brother shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased me and I learned how to run Picture Quote #1

I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that Picture Quote #1

Will I end up in Hell along with the Hamburger Helping Hand, Joe Camel and Wendy, the Snapple Lady? Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) If I were a serial killer, I would not be the kind that stabs and then eats the victim. I would be the kind that hides in a tree and shoots at the aerobics class (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) But I think I would have been happier if the only thing that came out of his mouth was the sound of a turning page (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) We tried to everything right, now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) We tried to do everything right. Now we were forced to do everything wrong and it was working (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) It's neat how money smells nothing like anything in the world except money, just like cardboard (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) We had a wealth of something we didn't want, but the wealth itself was intoxicating and we invented games just so we could experience the sensation of having too much of something (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) We never sampled our drugs because we were afraid of them, but to admit it aloud would have broken the spell (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I said all the wrong things. Except when I was busy saying all the mean ones and in the end I hated everybody and everything (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) You weren't heavy at all... the only weight you carry is on your shoulders. I wish I could carry it for you (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I understand why sometimes people speak in cliches because sometimes there is no other way to describe something (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) When you have a blueprint for what happiness is, lay it over your life and see what you need to change so the images are more aligned (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) The events of the past cannot be fully understood when you are the only element of the past actively engaged in reliving it (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) And as soon as I thought this, I tried to think of something else quickly. Because we were so close that I felt sometimes like she could read my mind (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) It is always safe to see yourself truthfully. You never have to be ashamed of yourself, with yourself (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I had the same worry that we wouldn't later be able to undo whatever it was we were doing to ourselves (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) All children should be loved, protected, nurtured - emotionally and intellectually - respected, and never, under any circumstances, underestimated. Especially, most essentially, by themselves (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Truth is accuracy. Without accuracy, you can't expect to manifest large, specific changes in your life (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) At that moment it would have been easier for me to spontaneously grasp quantum string theory (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) It then occurs to me that I am mentally unstable. So I decided to close my office door and go online. Maybe I can do some research and find out what's wrong with my personality and then fix it (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Truthfulness itself is almost medicinal, even when it's served without advice or insight. Just hearing true words spoken out loud provides relief (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Being an unhappy person does not mean you must be sad or dark. You can be interested instead of happy. You can be fascinated instead of happy (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Think of the actual physical elements that compose our bodies: we are 98 percent hydrogen and oxygen and carbon. That's table sugar. You are made of the same stuff as table sugar (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Truth is not an opinion. It's a force like gravity. It's the most valuable substance known to man (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I hate news and information and anything that threatens to puncture the bubble of oblivion in which I live (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) He likes people because he likes to share in conversations. I like people when they have large checks for me (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) My brother shaped my young life. First, he taught me how to walk. Then, armed with sticks and dead snakes, he chased me and I learned how to run (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) I once read about a guy who lost his arms in a fire. The nurse took pity on him and gave him a hand job. I don't even get that (Augusten Burroughs Quotes) Will I end up in Hell along with the Hamburger Helping Hand, Joe Camel and Wendy, the Snapple Lady? (Augusten Burroughs Quotes)

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