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Carol Leifer Quotes

I don’t exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain Picture Quote #1

Like a lot of women, I’m bisexual. Once I have sex with you - bye! Picture Quote #1

It was a mixed marriage. I’m human, and he was a Klingon Picture Quote #1

Obviously, at this age, I’ve lost people in my life. But with a parent, it’s just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive little-girl notion that he’d always be around. So I’m finding acceptance of my father’s death is the hardest thing to accept Picture Quote #1

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it! Picture Quote #1

Long Island - if you’re from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G Picture Quote #1

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My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he’s somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement Picture Quote #1

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I’ll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community Picture Quote #1

You can never go wrong betting on Americans’ bad eating habits. So I’ve made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine Picture Quote #1

I’ve seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn’t understand their comedy or their sensibility Picture Quote #1

Honestly, so much of my book is about the best things in my life have happened since I’m 40 Picture Quote #1

Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases Picture Quote #1

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I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there’s got to be one more way to really tick off my mom Picture Quote #1

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location Picture Quote #1

Some people have their marriages annulled, which means they never existed. Boy, talk about denial! What do you say when people see your wedding album? ‘Oh that was just some play I was in Picture Quote #1

When you’re single again, at the beginning you’re very optimistic and you say, ‘I want to meet someone who’s really smart, really sweet, really sensitive.’ And six months later you’re like, ‘Lord, any mammal with a day job Picture Quote #1

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage Picture Quote #1

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention Picture Quote #1

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I’m not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a ‘yes.’ So it’s worthwhile to have the cojones to do it Picture Quote #1

My father was a huge influence on me Picture Quote #1

I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain Picture Quote #1

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there’s got to be one more way to really tick off my mom Picture Quote #1

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he’s somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement Picture Quote #1

Just be your authentic self because there’s nothing sexier or more beautiful than that Picture Quote #1

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There are so many opportunities that I could’ve gotten before if I had just took a little more of a risk Picture Quote #1

I’ve seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn’t understand their comedy or their sensibility Picture Quote #1

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it Picture Quote #1

I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time Picture Quote #1

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection Picture Quote #1

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I don’t exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain. (Carol Leifer Quotes) Like a lot of women, I’m bisexual. Once I have sex with you - bye! (Carol Leifer Quotes) It was a mixed marriage. I’m human, and he was a Klingon (Carol Leifer Quotes) Obviously, at this age, I’ve lost people in my life. But with a parent, it’s just different. I was very attached to my father and had this naive little-girl notion that he’d always be around. So I’m finding acceptance of my father’s death is the hardest thing to accept (Carol Leifer Quotes) The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it! (Carol Leifer Quotes) Long Island - if you’re from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G. (Carol Leifer Quotes) My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he’s somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement. (Carol Leifer Quotes) Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I’ll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community. (Carol Leifer Quotes) You can never go wrong betting on Americans’ bad eating habits. So I’ve made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine. (Carol Leifer Quotes) I’ve seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn’t understand their comedy or their sensibility. (Carol Leifer Quotes) Honestly, so much of my book is about the best things in my life have happened since I’m 40 (Carol Leifer Quotes) Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases. (Carol Leifer Quotes) I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there’s got to be one more way to really tick off my mom. (Carol Leifer Quotes) Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location (Carol Leifer Quotes) Some people have their marriages annulled, which means they never existed. Boy, talk about denial! What do you say when people see your wedding album? ‘Oh that was just some play I was in (Carol Leifer Quotes) When you’re single again, at the beginning you’re very optimistic and you say, ‘I want to meet someone who’s really smart, really sweet, really sensitive.’ And six months later you’re like, ‘Lord, any mammal with a day job (Carol Leifer Quotes) There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage (Carol Leifer Quotes) My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention (Carol Leifer Quotes) I’m not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a ‘yes.’ So it’s worthwhile to have the cojones to do it (Carol Leifer Quotes) My father was a huge influence on me (Carol Leifer Quotes) I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain (Carol Leifer Quotes) I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there’s got to be one more way to really tick off my mom (Carol Leifer Quotes) My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he’s somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement (Carol Leifer Quotes) Just be your authentic self because there’s nothing sexier or more beautiful than that (Carol Leifer Quotes) There are so many opportunities that I could’ve gotten before if I had just took a little more of a risk (Carol Leifer Quotes) I’ve seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn’t understand their comedy or their sensibility (Carol Leifer Quotes) I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it (Carol Leifer Quotes) I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time (Carol Leifer Quotes) As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection (Carol Leifer Quotes) All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff (Carol Leifer Quotes)

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