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Chris Rock Quotes

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments Picture Quote #1

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot Picture Quote #1

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man Picture Quote #1

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C. B. Is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special Picture Quote #1

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders Picture Quote #1

Artistically I’m curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years Picture Quote #1

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It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes Picture Quote #1

When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy Picture Quote #1

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That’s it Picture Quote #1

Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we’re all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it’s like this is where I need to be Picture Quote #1

When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they’re nice and all, but they’re not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing Picture Quote #1

Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you Picture Quote #1

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I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I’d like to be great. I want to reach for greatness Picture Quote #1

Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids Picture Quote #1

The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you Picture Quote #1

You’re not famous unless people’s mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you’re famous, but you’re just hot, and heat cools off Picture Quote #1

People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That’s just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad Picture Quote #1

I literally don’t know what I’m going to do next. That’s successful Picture Quote #1

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It’s easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever Picture Quote #1

People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures Picture Quote #1

I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity Picture Quote #1

I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day Picture Quote #1

Karaoke isn’t fair when you’re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I’m a professional funny guy Picture Quote #1

Right now, my job is that I’m like an ambulance chaser. I’ve got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them Picture Quote #1

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Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous Picture Quote #1

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to Picture Quote #1

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing Picture Quote #1

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world Picture Quote #1

I can’t cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table Picture Quote #1

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments (Chris Rock Quotes) I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot (Chris Rock Quotes) School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man (Chris Rock Quotes) Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C. B. Is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special (Chris Rock Quotes) Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders (Chris Rock Quotes) Artistically I’m curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years (Chris Rock Quotes) It used to take years to become a junkie. But crack cut that down to 37 minutes (Chris Rock Quotes) When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy (Chris Rock Quotes) When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That’s it (Chris Rock Quotes) Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we’re all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it’s like this is where I need to be (Chris Rock Quotes) When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they’re nice and all, but they’re not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing (Chris Rock Quotes) Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you (Chris Rock Quotes) I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I’d like to be great. I want to reach for greatness (Chris Rock Quotes) Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids (Chris Rock Quotes) The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you (Chris Rock Quotes) You’re not famous unless people’s mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you’re famous, but you’re just hot, and heat cools off (Chris Rock Quotes) People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That’s just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad (Chris Rock Quotes) I literally don’t know what I’m going to do next. That’s successful (Chris Rock Quotes) It’s easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever (Chris Rock Quotes) People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures (Chris Rock Quotes) I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity (Chris Rock Quotes) I’ve seen women who don’t have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day (Chris Rock Quotes) Karaoke isn’t fair when you’re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I’m a professional funny guy (Chris Rock Quotes) Right now, my job is that I’m like an ambulance chaser. I’ve got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them (Chris Rock Quotes) Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous (Chris Rock Quotes) Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to (Chris Rock Quotes) Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing (Chris Rock Quotes) Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world (Chris Rock Quotes) I can’t cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table (Chris Rock Quotes) The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other (Chris Rock Quotes)

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