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Christopher Titus Quotes

I lost 28 pounds in my divorce…because that’s what a soul weighs Picture Quote #1
I don’t believe there should ever be abortion in the womb, but I do believe once that kid is born, there should be a 22 year late term abortion window Picture Quote #1
You don’t get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot Picture Quote #1
Revenge is good. It’s what separates us from the animals and the hippies Picture Quote #1
Sometimes, to help the people you love, you’ve gotta commit a felony Picture Quote #1
For me, the greatest hurdle to success has always been failure Picture Quote #1
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Japan is the perfect example of make plans, and watch God laugh Picture Quote #1
God bless America. But God, please help Canada Picture Quote #1
Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation Picture Quote #1
I don’t fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn’t work Picture Quote #1
If at first you don’t succeed, then drag racing isn’t for you Picture Quote #1
Born free. Taxed to death Picture Quote #1
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Lady Gaga is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett! Picture Quote #1
The normal make a living. The deranged make history Picture Quote #1
In a normal family, surprise means presents, cake and a party. My family, surprise means homelessness, abandonment and destruction of private property. Sometimes we have cake. We’re not losers Picture Quote #1
We don’t have home movies in my family. We have people’s exhibit A Picture Quote #1
Clint Eastwood doesn’t moisturize! But Clint Eastwood needs to moisturize! Picture Quote #1
Revenge is good. It’s what separates us from the animals and the hippies Picture Quote #1
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In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink Picture Quote #1
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Text Quotes
I lost 28 pounds in my divorce…because that’s what a soul weighs  (Christopher Titus Quotes) I don’t believe there should ever be abortion in the womb, but I do believe once that kid is born, there should be a 22 year late term abortion window  (Christopher Titus Quotes) You don’t get a rebate at the end of your life for living with an idiot  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Revenge is good. It’s what separates us from the animals and the hippies  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Sometimes, to help the people you love, you’ve gotta commit a felony  (Christopher Titus Quotes) For me, the greatest hurdle to success has always been failure  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Japan is the perfect example of make plans, and watch God laugh  (Christopher Titus Quotes) God bless America. But God, please help Canada.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Participation trophies are the soul herpes of a generation  (Christopher Titus Quotes) I don’t fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn’t work.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) If at first you don’t succeed, then drag racing isn’t for you  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Born free. Taxed to death.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Lady Gaga is proof that David Bowie raped Carol Burnett!  (Christopher Titus Quotes) The normal make a living. The deranged make history  (Christopher Titus Quotes) In a normal family, surprise means presents, cake and a party. My family, surprise means homelessness, abandonment and destruction of private property. Sometimes we have cake. We’re not losers.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) We don’t have home movies in my family. We have people’s exhibit A.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Clint Eastwood doesn’t moisturize! But Clint Eastwood needs to moisturize!  (Christopher Titus Quotes) Revenge is good. It’s what separates us from the animals and the hippies.  (Christopher Titus Quotes) In my family, goodness is just badness before its had something to drink  (Christopher Titus Quotes)