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Comedian Quotes

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I’m unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I’m angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I’m very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something Picture Quote #1

Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you’re not supposed to be the coolest guy Picture Quote #1

I’m more of a comedian. I wouldn’t mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool Picture Quote #1

I always focused on being an actor. I did stand-up briefly, but I also did a lot of dramatic work. But since I’ve been on ‘The Daily Show,’ people think I’m a comedian. That’s not how I see myself Picture Quote #1

As a standup comedian, you have to develop a sense of fearlessness. It’s really important for your livelihood and your well-being. And if you don’t do that, you’re going to fail; you’re never going to be able to stand up on the cliff and jump off Picture Quote #1

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there’s truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you’re working smaller clubs, you’re listening. You’re feeling an energy, you’re going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people Picture Quote #1

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I get very jealous of my friends who have traditional families and 9-to-5 jobs, because I feel like just by the nature of being a comedian Picture Quote #1

I just think of myself as a comedian, really. I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It’s funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I’m not religious at all. I have no religion Picture Quote #1

That’s the beauty of being a comedian - it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky Picture Quote #1

There’s something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process Picture Quote #1

I wanted to be like an actor or a comedian for a little while, because I was always wanting to make people laugh, and being stupid, so I never thought I’d be doing a job where you always have to look nice, and polished and sophisticated Picture Quote #1

As a family comedian, it is so wonderful seeing everyone from kids through to grandparents being entertained by you Picture Quote #1

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I think when I started doing stand-up, that’s when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things Picture Quote #1

Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God Picture Quote #1

Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the hero, the love interest, the comedian, the villain. Transformation excites me. So does truth. Nothing is more thrilling, hilarious, and tragic than the truth. Those things motivated me to become an actor. Also, they always have the best food on set Picture Quote #1

I think it’s great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that’s exactly what you’ll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you’ll never be worried with a human audience Picture Quote #1

I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad’s wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing Picture Quote #1

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Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it’s a burning desire, you’ll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take Picture Quote #1

COMEDIAN: [...] What is it you do for a living?HECKLER: I mind my own business.COMEDIAN: Self-employed, eh? No really, what do you do?HECKLER: I try not to do Picture Quote #1

I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too Picture Quote #1

I’ve been in radio, God, twenty years. I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up. Radio was just kind of an accident. I did morning radio in my hometown of Buffalo, then went to Rochester, then Chicago, and then New York Picture Quote #1

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, ‘If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn’t have any material.’ He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge Picture Quote #1

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn’t think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian Picture Quote #1

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We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out Picture Quote #1

Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off Picture Quote #1

As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they’re the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually Picture Quote #1

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn’t want to be the tea party’s go-to comedian Picture Quote #1

I’m a comedian first. I’ve learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that’s how I’ve learned. I didn’t take classes or anything. I don’t need no classroom Picture Quote #1

There’s this other world where all comedians want to do is make funny videos. Typically what’s happened in the past is that a comedian gets a standup career and over the course of 20 years builds it up to the point where Comedy Central gives them a sketch show Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I’m unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I’m angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I’m very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something. (Comedian Quotes) Being a rapper is about being cool, but being a comedian, you’re not supposed to be the coolest guy. (Comedian Quotes) I’m more of a comedian. I wouldn’t mind being on SNL (Saturday Night Live). I think that would be cool. (Comedian Quotes) I always focused on being an actor. I did stand-up briefly, but I also did a lot of dramatic work. But since I’ve been on ‘The Daily Show,’ people think I’m a comedian. That’s not how I see myself. (Comedian Quotes) As a standup comedian, you have to develop a sense of fearlessness. It’s really important for your livelihood and your well-being. And if you don’t do that, you’re going to fail; you’re never going to be able to stand up on the cliff and jump off. (Comedian Quotes) I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there’s truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you’re working smaller clubs, you’re listening. You’re feeling an energy, you’re going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people. (Comedian Quotes) I get very jealous of my friends who have traditional families and 9-to-5 jobs, because I feel like just by the nature of being a comedian... (Comedian Quotes) I just think of myself as a comedian, really. I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It’s funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I’m not religious at all. I have no religion. (Comedian Quotes) That’s the beauty of being a comedian - it’s the one job you’re allowed to do that. We’re lucky. We’re really lucky. (Comedian Quotes) There’s something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. (Comedian Quotes) I wanted to be like an actor or a comedian for a little while, because I was always wanting to make people laugh, and being stupid, so I never thought I’d be doing a job where you always have to look nice, and polished and sophisticated. (Comedian Quotes) As a family comedian, it is so wonderful seeing everyone from kids through to grandparents being entertained by you. (Comedian Quotes) I think when I started doing stand-up, that’s when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things. (Comedian Quotes) Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God. (Comedian Quotes) Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the hero, the love interest, the comedian, the villain. Transformation excites me. So does truth. Nothing is more thrilling, hilarious, and tragic than the truth. Those things motivated me to become an actor. Also, they always have the best food on set. (Comedian Quotes) I think it’s great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that’s exactly what you’ll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you’ll never be worried with a human audience. (Comedian Quotes) Kidney disease is a low-profile, unglamorous problem, a disease that disproportionately strikes minorities and the poor. Its celebrity spokesman is blue-collar comedian George Lopez, who received a kidney from his wife. (Comedian Quotes) I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad’s wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, What do you want to be when you grow up? I said, A comedian. And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing... (Comedian Quotes) Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it’s a burning desire, you’ll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take. (Comedian Quotes) COMEDIAN: [...] What is it you do for a living?HECKLER: I mind my own business.COMEDIAN: Self-employed, eh? No really, what do you do?HECKLER: I try not to do. (Comedian Quotes) I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too. (Comedian Quotes) I’ve been in radio, God, twenty years. I started as a stand-up comedian. I wanted to be Carol Burnett when I was growing up. Radio was just kind of an accident. I did morning radio in my hometown of Buffalo, then went to Rochester, then Chicago, and then New York. (Comedian Quotes) Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, ‘If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn’t have any material.’ He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge. (Comedian Quotes) Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn’t think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian. (Comedian Quotes) We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out. (Comedian Quotes) Chris Rock went from a guy whose name you knew from SNL to a legendary comedian by working his ass off. (Comedian Quotes) As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they’re the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually. (Comedian Quotes) I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn’t want to be the tea party’s go-to comedian. (Comedian Quotes) I’m a comedian first. I’ve learned how to act. I just draw on life experiences and that’s how I’ve learned. I didn’t take classes or anything. I don’t need no classroom. (Comedian Quotes) There’s this other world where all comedians want to do is make funny videos. Typically what’s happened in the past is that a comedian gets a standup career and over the course of 20 years builds it up to the point where Comedy Central gives them a sketch show. (Comedian Quotes)

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