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Craig Ferguson Quotes

Congratulations to the NBA champion Boston Celtics - they beat the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points. Or as Hillary Clinton would say, Too close to call Picture Quote #1

I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, ‘Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I’ll get you a deal.’ So I figured, ‘OK, 10 days.’ On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move Picture Quote #1

If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain Picture Quote #1

There’s going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don’t even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they’ve got great shows, like Barks and Recreation and Game of Bones Picture Quote #1

Every year there’s a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge Picture Quote #1

Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I’ve got to change stuff. Then I’m not doing it Picture Quote #1

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I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It’s 12:30 at night, you don’t want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you Picture Quote #1

Ocean’s 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn’t want to see that? Well you, apparantly, ‘cause you’re watching me Picture Quote #1

If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you’re bullet-proof Picture Quote #1

If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that Picture Quote #1

Friday’s turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers Picture Quote #1

Mark Zuckerberg was named Time’s Person of the Year. I’m sorry if you don’t recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read Picture Quote #1

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I don’t see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job Picture Quote #1

I don’t just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they’re naughty Picture Quote #1

The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It’s camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it Picture Quote #1

Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there’s no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving Picture Quote #1

Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn’t matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover Picture Quote #1

Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I’m glad the PC police haven’t made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis Picture Quote #1

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Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don’t need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts Picture Quote #1

Bush’s memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles Picture Quote #1

You know who they’re blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people Picture Quote #1

She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women Picture Quote #1

They say give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he’ll get his own show on the Discovery Channel Picture Quote #1

It’s a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she’ll probably quit after a year Picture Quote #1

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Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I’m frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes Picture Quote #1

Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can’t tell, of course, because of the Botox Picture Quote #1

You know, I think there’s a good rule of thumb here: Don’t take nutritional advice from other species Picture Quote #1

The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They’re like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him Picture Quote #1

According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in Picture Quote #1

A lot of people in their 30’s get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and jaded and prematurely old. Then they turn their nostalgia into great television Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Congratulations to the NBA champion Boston Celtics - they beat the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points. Or as Hillary Clinton would say, Too close to call. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) I always wanted to make motion pictures, ever since I was a wee boy, and I was 32, and time was marching on. I met a guy who said, ‘Come out to Hollywood for 10 days, and I’ll get you a deal.’ So I figured, ‘OK, 10 days.’ On the 10th day, he got me a development deal with Disney, not for a lot of money, but it allowed me to make the move. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) There’s going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don’t even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they’ve got great shows, like Barks and Recreation and Game of Bones. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Every year there’s a jury at the Cannes Film Festival. Getting on the jury is very competitive in France. Not because the French love cinema, but because they love to judge. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Climate change is a serious problem. We all need to do what we can. Unless that means I’ve got to change stuff. Then I’m not doing it. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It’s 12:30 at night, you don’t want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Ocean’s 13 is all about cool people having a good time, and who doesn’t want to see that? Well you, apparantly, ‘cause you’re watching me. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you’re bullet-proof (Craig Ferguson Quotes) If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I’m sorry that your life turned out like that (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Friday’s turmoil in global markets looks set to continue to exert a dominant force on the foreign exchange markets. The usual trend when U.S. stocks fall is that the U.S. dollar suffers. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Mark Zuckerberg was named Time’s Person of the Year. I’m sorry if you don’t recognize the name. A magazine is something people used to read. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) I don’t see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) I don’t just like sexual double entendres I love them, I stroke them, I milk them, I spank them when they’re naughty. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) The problem with suicide is that it seems so flamboyant. It’s camp. You have to be a bit of a drama queen to ever seriously consider it. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there’s no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn’t matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Here at CBS, spring also means March Madness. I love the name March Madness. I’m glad the PC police haven’t made us change March Madness to early spring psychosis. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don’t need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Bush’s memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) You know who they’re blaming for global warming now? This is true. Fat people. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) She still cared for me, and the best way I could make amends to her was to be happy.I do have a knack for finding great women. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) They say give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he’ll get his own show on the Discovery Channel. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) It’s a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she’ll probably quit after a year. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I’m frying everything I eat. Fried food and cigarettes. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) Gas prices - it is $6 a gallon here. People in L.A. are furious. You can’t tell, of course, because of the Botox. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) You know, I think there’s a good rule of thumb here: Don’t take nutritional advice from other species. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) The Smurfs 2 is a great movie. The Smurfs are tiny little creatures that everybody loves. They’re like Justin Bieber - minus the part about everybody loving him. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) According to a new study, Hawaii is the happiest place in America to live. And I thought it was just a great place to pretend you were born in. (Craig Ferguson Quotes) A lot of people in their 30’s get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and jaded and prematurely old. Then they turn their nostalgia into great television. (Craig Ferguson Quotes)

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