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Date Quotes

We try to live by the secret of sevens. A friend, who has been married for over 40 years, told us about this magic. Make and keep a date every seven days, take a night away alone, for yourself, every seven weeks, and schedule an adult-only vacation every seven months Picture Quote #1

If you’re a good Amish girl, you’re courting, you have three or four different beaus, and you go out and stay out all night. That’s just their tradition. They date under the covering of night. No one knows who they’re dating or seeing until two weeks before they’re going to be married. It’s how they’ve done it for 300 years Picture Quote #1

I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before Picture Quote #1

I had a date last night with my boyfriend on batteries. What does a girl have to do to get laid by a real penis? Picture Quote #1

With dates I like to cater a girl. We do whatever she likes. If she was open to what I wanted to do, it probably wouldn’t be a dull date, because I am a jock Picture Quote #1

I had a date with a girl I called ‘the parrot.’ All she did was repeat everything I said. She never had an original thought of her own. Everything I liked, she liked. Everything I hated, she hated. It was annoying! Picture Quote #1

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I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I’d get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I’ve since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her Picture Quote #1

I would never say that I’m good at being on dates. I think I like to try to find a connection with somebody, like, that’s my main thing. I think that maybe if you find a connection with a girl on a date, that’s like the No. 1 thing, and then it’s like, ‘Cool, that was a great date.’ Picture Quote #1

I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man Picture Quote #1

I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can’t I meet a girl with normal parents? Picture Quote #1

I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me Picture Quote #1

It’s a real player move to take a girl wine-tasting on a date - she’ll like that Picture Quote #1

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On radio, you’re in your own little world. Every time I’d be doing a possible no-hitter - I think I’ve done something like 25 no-hitters and a couple of perfect games - I would always put the date on the tape. Not for me, but for the player, so that 25 or 30 years later when he’s playing it for his kids or grandkids, you have that date Picture Quote #1

I went on a date once with a police officer, unbeknownst to me. I thought he was a regular guy. And when I found out that he was a police officer... I wasn’t so into it. I got paranoid that I would illegally cross the street and get a ticket for jay walking Picture Quote #1

When you know what the male species is looking for - ‘I’m not into a redhead,’ ‘I don’t want a fat chick,’ - I have to tell them that X won’t date you unless you’re this. I’m just the messenger Picture Quote #1

I really look up to writers who are able to write compressed, single-scene stories, where everything happens in a kitchen. But I just can’t think that way. For me it would be impossible to write a story where I didn’t know what someone’s parents did and what their grandparents did and who they used to date Picture Quote #1

I tell you, if I’m going to go through a divorce, I would date again a younger man. Because I have so much energy, there’s no way an older man can keep up with me Picture Quote #1

In my sophomore year, a kid told me that the secret to getting women is to play really, really hard to get. I followed his advice, and I didn’t have so much as a date that year Picture Quote #1

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I’d got to that age when I was out on a date with a guy and I would be thinking: Don’t mention your age, don’t mention that you want a child - because they would just run out the door Picture Quote #1

I’m one of those guys that - as far as relationships and stuff go - if you smile at me, I’m like, ‘Let’s date for three years’ - which is just ridiculous Picture Quote #1

I wouldn’t know what to do on a date. I don’t have the time. To make a relationship work, I’d have to give something up, and I’m not so sure I’m willing to do that Picture Quote #1

I’m kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4,000 people about it Picture Quote #1

I wouldn’t date an actress. There’s only room for one actor in my life and I’m it. Too difficult. On the one hand, they understand the job. But on the other hand, it’s very competitive within the relationship. Two actors, say one becomes a mega-star and the other doesn’t Picture Quote #1

I can say I’m a relationship person, and I like relationships. I think I also like relationships because then you don’t have to date because dating is horrible Picture Quote #1

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I don’t miss being a reporter as a job, but I do miss the everyday interaction with the front line of law enforcement. I still have a cadre of cops who keep me up to date, but I don’t have the access I used to Picture Quote #1

I think a movie is a great date idea for younger couples. It takes the pressure off, since something else is entertaining you. It’s also good for couples in a very comfortable relationship Picture Quote #1

We haven’t even gotten a start date but we’ll see what happens with that and that will be fun. I’ve gotten a couple of other things but I’m not really committing myself to anything yet Picture Quote #1

I have laughter dates with myself, where I find comics on YouTube and watch them. Louis C.K. was my first laughter date a couple years ago. I’ll also watch those videos of people doing idiotic things. That cracks me up Picture Quote #1

I knew a ton of actors and was friends with them, but I never dated actresses. I tried to date ‘normal’ people because the Hollywood dating rule is ‘one star per couple’ because it’s quite a challenge to match the egos of two actors Picture Quote #1

The current concept of prom just seems so empty. Teenagers get dressed up to go to a dance at a fancy location. It encourages social inclusion or exclusion based on your ability or inability to snag a date Picture Quote #1

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We try to live by the secret of sevens. A friend, who has been married for over 40 years, told us about this magic. Make and keep a date every seven days, take a night away alone, for yourself, every seven weeks, and schedule an adult-only vacation every seven months. (Date Quotes) If you’re a good Amish girl, you’re courting, you have three or four different beaus, and you go out and stay out all night. That’s just their tradition. They date under the covering of night. No one knows who they’re dating or seeing until two weeks before they’re going to be married. It’s how they’ve done it for 300 years. (Date Quotes) I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before. (Date Quotes) I had a date last night with my boyfriend on batteries. What does a girl have to do to get laid by a real penis? (Date Quotes) With dates I like to cater a girl. We do whatever she likes. If she was open to what I wanted to do, it probably wouldn’t be a dull date, because I am a jock. (Date Quotes) I had a date with a girl I called ‘the parrot.’ All she did was repeat everything I said. She never had an original thought of her own. Everything I liked, she liked. Everything I hated, she hated. It was annoying! (Date Quotes) I used to be a real prince charming if I went on a date with a girl. But then I’d get to where I was likely to have a stroke from the stress of keeping up my act. I’ve since learned the key to a good date is to pay attention on her. (Date Quotes) I would never say that I’m good at being on dates. I think I like to try to find a connection with somebody, like, that’s my main thing. I think that maybe if you find a connection with a girl on a date, that’s like the No. 1 thing, and then it’s like, ‘Cool, that was a great date.’ (Date Quotes) I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man. (Date Quotes) I used to date a girl from Buffalo. Why can’t I meet a girl with normal parents? (Date Quotes) I had a date with an inflatable girl. Now I got an inflatable guy looking for me. (Date Quotes) It’s a real player move to take a girl wine-tasting on a date - she’ll like that (Date Quotes) On radio, you’re in your own little world. Every time I’d be doing a possible no-hitter - I think I’ve done something like 25 no-hitters and a couple of perfect games - I would always put the date on the tape. Not for me, but for the player, so that 25 or 30 years later when he’s playing it for his kids or grandkids, you have that date. (Date Quotes) I went on a date once with a police officer, unbeknownst to me. I thought he was a regular guy. And when I found out that he was a police officer... I wasn’t so into it. I got paranoid that I would illegally cross the street and get a ticket for jay walking. (Date Quotes) When you know what the male species is looking for - ‘I’m not into a redhead,’ ‘I don’t want a fat chick,’ - I have to tell them that X won’t date you unless you’re this. I’m just the messenger. (Date Quotes) I really look up to writers who are able to write compressed, single-scene stories, where everything happens in a kitchen. But I just can’t think that way. For me it would be impossible to write a story where I didn’t know what someone’s parents did and what their grandparents did and who they used to date. (Date Quotes) I tell you, if I’m going to go through a divorce, I would date again a younger man. Because I have so much energy, there’s no way an older man can keep up with me. (Date Quotes) In my sophomore year, a kid told me that the secret to getting women is to play really, really hard to get. I followed his advice, and I didn’t have so much as a date that year. (Date Quotes) I’d got to that age when I was out on a date with a guy and I would be thinking: Don’t mention your age, don’t mention that you want a child - because they would just run out the door. (Date Quotes) I’m one of those guys that - as far as relationships and stuff go - if you smile at me, I’m like, ‘Let’s date for three years’ - which is just ridiculous. (Date Quotes) I wouldn’t know what to do on a date. I don’t have the time. To make a relationship work, I’d have to give something up, and I’m not so sure I’m willing to do that. (Date Quotes) I’m kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4,000 people about it. (Date Quotes) I wouldn’t date an actress. There’s only room for one actor in my life and I’m it. Too difficult. On the one hand, they understand the job. But on the other hand, it’s very competitive within the relationship. Two actors, say one becomes a mega-star and the other doesn’t. (Date Quotes) I can say I’m a relationship person, and I like relationships. I think I also like relationships because then you don’t have to date because dating is horrible. (Date Quotes) I don’t miss being a reporter as a job, but I do miss the everyday interaction with the front line of law enforcement. I still have a cadre of cops who keep me up to date, but I don’t have the access I used to. (Date Quotes) I think a movie is a great date idea for younger couples. It takes the pressure off, since something else is entertaining you. It’s also good for couples in a very comfortable relationship. (Date Quotes) We haven’t even gotten a start date but we’ll see what happens with that and that will be fun. I’ve gotten a couple of other things but I’m not really committing myself to anything yet. (Date Quotes) I have laughter dates with myself, where I find comics on YouTube and watch them. Louis C.K. was my first laughter date a couple years ago. I’ll also watch those videos of people doing idiotic things. That cracks me up. (Date Quotes) I knew a ton of actors and was friends with them, but I never dated actresses. I tried to date ‘normal’ people because the Hollywood dating rule is ‘one star per couple’ because it’s quite a challenge to match the egos of two actors. (Date Quotes) The current concept of prom just seems so empty. Teenagers get dressed up to go to a dance at a fancy location. It encourages social inclusion or exclusion based on your ability or inability to snag a date. (Date Quotes)

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