Advertisements
Dave Barry Quotes
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Advertisements
Text Quotes
I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and - regardless of their political or cultural differences - accuse each other of cheating (Dave Barry Quotes)
There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately (Dave Barry Quotes)
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from someone else's plate (Dave Barry Quotes)
The bad news was that the yard contained a dog. A very, very large dog, wide and hairy, like a cross between a rottweiler and a Goodyear blimp (Dave Barry Quotes)
Normal person's weekly chore list:1. Clean kitchen. 2. Clean bathroom. 3. Clean entire rest of domicile. Cleaning impaired person's weekly chore list: 1. Don't get peanut butter on sheets (Dave Barry Quotes)
The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine millimeter bullet (Dave Barry Quotes)
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world (Dave Barry Quotes)
A short distance away is the Tidal Basin, ringed by cherry trees that every year produce flowers, an event to which Washingtonians react as though it were the Second Coming of Christ (Dave Barry Quotes)
If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're too close, alright? So don't keep advancing on them like a human glacier (Dave Barry Quotes)
There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur covered lump - an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat (Dave Barry Quotes)
His body rigid with terror as he waited for the savages to something horrible to him - bash his head with clubs, or stab him with spears, or… …or tap him on the shoulder (Dave Barry Quotes)
Stache's attack was perfectly timed, thanks to his veteran - pirate grasp tactics - and a big piece if luck (Dave Barry Quotes)
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter (Dave Barry Quotes)
Never again will I underestimate the persuasive power of a woman with legal training and big tits (Dave Barry Quotes)
They feed you, like, eight times a day, which is why cruise people always look like hairless water buffalo wearing sneakers (Dave Barry Quotes)
He stepped forward, and as he did the left side of his coconut brassiere slipped down, revealing his left nipple. He shoved the coconut back into place. He didn't want to look unprofessional (Dave Barry Quotes)
Our original idea was to write a book titled Fifty Shades of the Hunger Games, by J. K. Rowling with Stephen King: A John Grisham Novel (Dave Barry Quotes)
You came to a strip club with a woman who is not your fiancée, and a gorilla on your wedding day (Dave Barry Quotes)
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment (Dave Barry Quotes)
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals like Hydrogen and Oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer (Dave Barry Quotes)
Light overcomes darkness. A tiny match can illuminate the darkest room. As long as there is some light somewhere in the universe, darkness can be defeated (Dave Barry Quotes)
Almost half of the people over 40 believe they look younger than they are. This says something important about older Americans. We have terrible eyesight (Dave Barry Quotes)
I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either (Dave Barry Quotes)
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings." (Dave Barry Quotes)
Guys are simple. Women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically (Dave Barry Quotes)
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down (Dave Barry Quotes)
The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet. Be sure to wear safety glasses (Dave Barry Quotes)
Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to clearing the way for informal discussions that might lead to possible formal talks that could potentially produce some kind of tenative agreements (Dave Barry Quotes)
A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is (Dave Barry Quotes)
Editorials are written by people who have agreed to have several strong opinions a day and to write them down, provided they do not have to sign their names (Dave Barry Quotes)