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Dave Barry Quotes
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Text Quotes
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege (Dave Barry Quotes)
There are no bad haircuts in cyberspace (Dave Barry Quotes)
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? (Dave Barry Quotes)
The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television (Dave Barry Quotes)
If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word (Dave Barry Quotes)
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance (Dave Barry Quotes)
Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash (Dave Barry Quotes)
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose (Dave Barry Quotes)
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent (Dave Barry Quotes)
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business (Dave Barry Quotes)
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates (Dave Barry Quotes)
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl (Dave Barry Quotes)
Database: The information you lose when your memory crashes (Dave Barry Quotes)
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid (Dave Barry Quotes)
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects (Dave Barry Quotes)
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously (Dave Barry Quotes)
There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary (Dave Barry Quotes)
Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill (Dave Barry Quotes)
The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot (Dave Barry Quotes)
The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species (Dave Barry Quotes)
The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment (Dave Barry Quotes)
The objective is not so much to walk your dog, as it is to empty him (Dave Barry Quotes)
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling (Dave Barry Quotes)
It would be hard to conceive of any activity more useless than stamp collecting (Dave Barry Quotes)
Babies and other hazards of sex: how to make a tiny person in only 9 months, with tools you probably have around the home (Dave Barry Quotes)
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent (Dave Barry Quotes)
A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation’s state legislators (Dave Barry Quotes)
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them (Dave Barry Quotes)
Today’s scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster? (Dave Barry Quotes)
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me (Dave Barry Quotes)