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David Cross Quotes

I’m concerned about how and why there is no gun control Picture Quote #1

I’ve gotten condescending a million times, and that’s not good Picture Quote #1

So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude Picture Quote #1

I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I don’t believe in God Picture Quote #1

I’ve had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life Picture Quote #1

I’m very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It’s this thing that I carry around. I know I’d be a better person if I was fairer, but it’s at the core of who I am and what I believe Picture Quote #1

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If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I’ve never taken that as criticism. It’s the way I naturally communicate. But I’m not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I’m just angry in a mild way - it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it Picture Quote #1

Religion triggers a lot of emotions in me, most of which stem from being raised Jewish in a very Baptist community in the South. I didn’t believe any of it from an early age - the clubby quality of whatever religion or church you belonged to, Judaism included. It just struck me as foolish Picture Quote #1

I’m not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country Picture Quote #1

I hate bumper stickers, you can’t sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner Picture Quote #1

I have a few business ideas (that I’m going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people Picture Quote #1

I have no hesitation doing children’s movies. Zero. And I don’t even have kids Picture Quote #1

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I’m of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, ‘Hey, I want another me. I like me. I’m pretty cool, and I’ve got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let’s put another one of me out there.’ So I’ll have kids one day Picture Quote #1

It’s not about trying to be funny all the time. It’s more of a document that hopefully is funny Picture Quote #1

Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I’ve always had people upset. I’ve never been the consummate crowd-pleaser Picture Quote #1

I’d be curious to find out, but I don’t think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry Picture Quote #1

I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I’m not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations Picture Quote #1

I read the New York Times, and if I’m in a different city, I’ll skim that paper Picture Quote #1

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I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous Picture Quote #1

Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I’m not sure I’d go back Picture Quote #1

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It’s so funny! Right in the first six pages, it’s funny! Picture Quote #1

When we were on the bus doing the Mr. Show Hooray for America Tour there was a lot of laughter and a lot of pot smoking and a lot of speed metal listening and video game playing. Of course that was all Brian Posehn Picture Quote #1

I’m concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with Picture Quote #1

And it’s one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter Picture Quote #1

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I think I’d be a really good dad. So perhaps I’m doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible Picture Quote #1

With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley’s comet.’ Yeah. I like that. There’s no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together Picture Quote #1

That’s what social media is, that’s what Twitter is, that’s what Facebook posts are. It’s just really anti-intellectual Picture Quote #1

If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat Picture Quote #1

I’m pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I’m on the above-average side of happy people Picture Quote #1

What happened to our friendship? I really think it’s our obligation as friends to be brutally honest and be frank with them and say, ‘Look, I’m sorry, but your baby is fking boring.’ Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m concerned about how and why there is no gun control (David Cross Quotes) I’ve gotten condescending a million times, and that’s not good (David Cross Quotes) So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude. (David Cross Quotes) I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I don’t believe in God (David Cross Quotes) I’ve had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life. (David Cross Quotes) I’m very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These are people I like and I know are intelligent. It’s this thing that I carry around. I know I’d be a better person if I was fairer, but it’s at the core of who I am and what I believe. (David Cross Quotes) If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I’ve never taken that as criticism. It’s the way I naturally communicate. But I’m not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I’m just angry in a mild way - it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it. (David Cross Quotes) Religion triggers a lot of emotions in me, most of which stem from being raised Jewish in a very Baptist community in the South. I didn’t believe any of it from an early age - the clubby quality of whatever religion or church you belonged to, Judaism included. It just struck me as foolish. (David Cross Quotes) I’m not going to benefit from free college education, but I think all those things are good for the country. (David Cross Quotes) I hate bumper stickers, you can’t sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner. (David Cross Quotes) I have a few business ideas (that I’m going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people. (David Cross Quotes) I have no hesitation doing children’s movies. Zero. And I don’t even have kids. (David Cross Quotes) I’m of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, ‘Hey, I want another me. I like me. I’m pretty cool, and I’ve got really great ideas, and the way I think is the right way to think. Let’s put another one of me out there.’ So I’ll have kids one day. (David Cross Quotes) It’s not about trying to be funny all the time. It’s more of a document that hopefully is funny. (David Cross Quotes) Hopefully people are upset for the reason I want them to be upset. Even when I was doing open mics, I’ve always had people upset. I’ve never been the consummate crowd-pleaser. (David Cross Quotes) I’d be curious to find out, but I don’t think people in the entertainment industry are proportionally more or less serious politically than anyone in the landscaping industry. (David Cross Quotes) I just did 101 shows in 86 different cities in America and Europe and Canada, and I’m not lying or exaggerating when I say, at the vast majority of shows, they loved it. There were encores, there were standing ovations. (David Cross Quotes) I read the New York Times, and if I’m in a different city, I’ll skim that paper (David Cross Quotes) I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous (David Cross Quotes) Florida was the low point.The entire state, yep. I’m not sure I’d go back. (David Cross Quotes) The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It’s so funny! Right in the first six pages, it’s funny! (David Cross Quotes) When we were on the bus doing the Mr. Show Hooray for America Tour there was a lot of laughter and a lot of pot smoking and a lot of speed metal listening and video game playing. Of course that was all Brian Posehn. (David Cross Quotes) I’m concerned about organized religion getting away with what it gets away with (David Cross Quotes) And it’s one more shitty thing to write about somebody, in between getting really, really, really upset at female Ghostbusters and Gamergate, and the things that really matter. (David Cross Quotes) I think I’d be a really good dad. So perhaps I’m doing society a disservice by not having as many kids as possible. (David Cross Quotes) With a telescope, some munchies, and a warm blanket, watch for Halley’s comet.’ Yeah. I like that. There’s no time limit. Just sit there and grow old together. (David Cross Quotes) That’s what social media is, that’s what Twitter is, that’s what Facebook posts are. It’s just really anti-intellectual. (David Cross Quotes) If you want to reinstate the 14.4 billion dollars that Bush cut out of the veterans program then vote democrat (David Cross Quotes) I’m pretty happy. I obviously have complaints about things, but for the most part, I’m on the above-average side of happy people (David Cross Quotes) What happened to our friendship? I really think it’s our obligation as friends to be brutally honest and be frank with them and say, ‘Look, I’m sorry, but your baby is fking boring.’ (David Cross Quotes)

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