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David Sedaris Quotes

Most people, or at least most of the people that I’ve come into contact with, would like to be written about Picture Quote #1

I’ve always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down my nose at their wasted empty lives Picture Quote #1

I’m the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I’ve never even met Picture Quote #1

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won’t be offended Picture Quote #1

Famous people like to choose friends who won’t go around repeating their conversations and details about them Picture Quote #1

I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it would happen quickly Picture Quote #1

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I love things made out of animals. It’s just so funny to think of someone saying, ‘I need a letter opener. I guess I’ll have to kill a deer Picture Quote #1

I had to wrestle daily with both my inadequacy and my uncontrollable jealousy. I didn’t want to kill her, but hoped someone else might do the job for me Picture Quote #1

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny Picture Quote #1

When they’re born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out Picture Quote #1

Art isn’t about following the rules. It’s about breaking them Picture Quote #1

We can’t profess love without talking through hand puppets Picture Quote #1

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Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it Picture Quote #1

I always think it’s a good policy to like the people who like you Picture Quote #1

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don’t write about Picture Quote #1

The things I’ve bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair Picture Quote #1

I ain’t seen pussy in so long I’d throw stones at it Picture Quote #1

I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out Picture Quote #1

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My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining Picture Quote #1

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons Picture Quote #1

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard Picture Quote #1

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended Picture Quote #1

When I taught, a lot of my students weren’t big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn’t know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean? Picture Quote #1

I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take them on tour, read them like a dozen times on tour, then go back to the room and rewrite, read and rewrite... I would never show him a first draft, because then he’s really going to be sick of it by the twelfth draft Picture Quote #1

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My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there’s a short in the system and I break out over things I didn’t do, which only makes me look more suspect Picture Quote #1

Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn’t have to be a big thing; in fact, most often, it’s just the opposite Picture Quote #1

My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I’ll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a typewriter and I whited out a line, often I would choose a word to go in the space just because it fit. Now I don’t have to do that Picture Quote #1

In books and movies infidelity always looks so compelling, so right. Here are people who defy petty convention and are rewarded with only the tastiest bits of human experience Picture Quote #1

On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You’d be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem is, most monkey stories end tragically Picture Quote #1

I don’t worry about being exposed. When I’m writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don’t write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Most people, or at least most of the people that I’ve come into contact with, would like to be written about. (David Sedaris Quotes) I’ve always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down my nose at their wasted empty lives. (David Sedaris Quotes) I’m the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I’ve never even met. (David Sedaris Quotes) I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won’t be offended (David Sedaris Quotes) Famous people like to choose friends who won’t go around repeating their conversations and details about them. (David Sedaris Quotes) I started writing when I was twenty. My first book came out when I was thirty-five. But I never expected that it would happen quickly. (David Sedaris Quotes) I love things made out of animals. It’s just so funny to think of someone saying, ‘I need a letter opener. I guess I’ll have to kill a deer. (David Sedaris Quotes) I had to wrestle daily with both my inadequacy and my uncontrollable jealousy. I didn’t want to kill her, but hoped someone else might do the job for me. (David Sedaris Quotes) What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny (David Sedaris Quotes) When they’re born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out (David Sedaris Quotes) Art isn’t about following the rules. It’s about breaking them (David Sedaris Quotes) We can’t profess love without talking through hand puppets (David Sedaris Quotes) Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it (David Sedaris Quotes) I always think it’s a good policy to like the people who like you (David Sedaris Quotes) There are lots of things that happen to me that I don’t write about (David Sedaris Quotes) The things I’ve bought from strangers in the dark would curl your hair (David Sedaris Quotes) I ain’t seen pussy in so long I’d throw stones at it (David Sedaris Quotes) I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out (David Sedaris Quotes) My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining (David Sedaris Quotes) The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons (David Sedaris Quotes) When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard (David Sedaris Quotes) I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended (David Sedaris Quotes) When I taught, a lot of my students weren’t big readers, so they would write something and I realized that they thought it belonged in a book. Like, they didn’t know what the inside of a book looked like, you know what I mean? (David Sedaris Quotes) I tend to write things seven times before I show them to my editor. I write them seven times, then I take them on tour, read them like a dozen times on tour, then go back to the room and rewrite, read and rewrite... I would never show him a first draft, because then he’s really going to be sick of it by the twelfth draft (David Sedaris Quotes) My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there’s a short in the system and I break out over things I didn’t do, which only makes me look more suspect (David Sedaris Quotes) Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn’t have to be a big thing; in fact, most often, it’s just the opposite (David Sedaris Quotes) My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I’ll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a typewriter and I whited out a line, often I would choose a word to go in the space just because it fit. Now I don’t have to do that (David Sedaris Quotes) In books and movies infidelity always looks so compelling, so right. Here are people who defy petty convention and are rewarded with only the tastiest bits of human experience (David Sedaris Quotes) On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You’d be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem is, most monkey stories end tragically (David Sedaris Quotes) I don’t worry about being exposed. When I’m writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don’t write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary (David Sedaris Quotes)

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