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Demetri Martin Quotes

What I’ve learned about my self over the years is that I’m pretty restless. If I multitask it’s probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing Picture Quote #1

For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn’t usually come with negativity. I don’t really mind sucking at something as long as I’m getting a little bit better at it along the way Picture Quote #1

I think there’s a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you’re a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes Picture Quote #1

I love motor learning because it’s very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know Picture Quote #1

In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that’s what makes life hopeful Picture Quote #1

A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls Picture Quote #1

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Cottonballs are an example of something I’d want to buy, but not have as a nickname Picture Quote #1

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now I don’t have to hold things when I sleep Picture Quote #1

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles Picture Quote #1

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time Picture Quote #1

The difference between a child’s toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location Picture Quote #1

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast Picture Quote #1

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You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you Picture Quote #1

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I’m looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I’m on the right track Picture Quote #1

And of course I didn’t make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money Picture Quote #1

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time Picture Quote #1

I didn’t do improv in college, I never performed, I didn’t do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major Picture Quote #1

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I’m not a smoker, I just really like certain songs Picture Quote #1

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If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half Picture Quote #1

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away Picture Quote #1

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door Picture Quote #1

I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there Picture Quote #1

The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience Picture Quote #1

I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie Picture Quote #1

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I just know keeping track of what I’m doing and where I’m going is important to me Picture Quote #1

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I’m going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old Picture Quote #1

It’s very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you’re dead, and I’m going to say that’s got to be a letdown Picture Quote #1

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me Picture Quote #1

I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater Picture Quote #1

I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

What I’ve learned about my self over the years is that I’m pretty restless. If I multitask it’s probably because I have difficulty just focusing on one thing (Demetri Martin Quotes) For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn’t usually come with negativity. I don’t really mind sucking at something as long as I’m getting a little bit better at it along the way (Demetri Martin Quotes) I think there’s a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you’re a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes (Demetri Martin Quotes) I love motor learning because it’s very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know (Demetri Martin Quotes) In retrospect, everything is finite, but prospectively, there are infinite possibilities. I guess that’s what makes life hopeful (Demetri Martin Quotes) A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls (Demetri Martin Quotes) Cottonballs are an example of something I’d want to buy, but not have as a nickname (Demetri Martin Quotes) I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now I don’t have to hold things when I sleep (Demetri Martin Quotes) I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles (Demetri Martin Quotes) Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time (Demetri Martin Quotes) The difference between a child’s toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location (Demetri Martin Quotes) The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast (Demetri Martin Quotes) You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you (Demetri Martin Quotes) And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I’m looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I’m on the right track (Demetri Martin Quotes) And of course I didn’t make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money (Demetri Martin Quotes) Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time (Demetri Martin Quotes) I didn’t do improv in college, I never performed, I didn’t do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major (Demetri Martin Quotes) I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I’m not a smoker, I just really like certain songs (Demetri Martin Quotes) If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half (Demetri Martin Quotes) Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away (Demetri Martin Quotes) The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door (Demetri Martin Quotes) I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there (Demetri Martin Quotes) The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience (Demetri Martin Quotes) I have fun acting, and I want to do more of it, and I want to direct my own movie (Demetri Martin Quotes) I just know keeping track of what I’m doing and where I’m going is important to me (Demetri Martin Quotes) I started being a comedy fan when I was, I’m going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old (Demetri Martin Quotes) It’s very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you’re dead, and I’m going to say that’s got to be a letdown (Demetri Martin Quotes) I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me (Demetri Martin Quotes) I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater (Demetri Martin Quotes) I am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery (Demetri Martin Quotes)

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