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Dov Davidoff Quotes

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They’re the adrenaline junkies of gayness Picture Quote #1

I have emotional needs that I didn’t know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn’t know weren’t really needs Picture Quote #1

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I’m not saying I’d make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances Picture Quote #1

My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way Picture Quote #1

People that say I have a ‘fear of commitment’ don’t understand my relationship with popcorn Picture Quote #1

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream Picture Quote #1

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America’s objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women Picture Quote #1

One day I’d like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen Picture Quote #1

You can’t assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she’s got herpes, I can’t afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees Picture Quote #1

We’re in this together usually means I’m here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour Picture Quote #1

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven’t seen them in 12 years Picture Quote #1

At the gym; I’ve given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse Picture Quote #1

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When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don’t always like that Picture Quote #1

Insecurity is like herpes. It’s not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it Picture Quote #1

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I’ll just start dressing funnier Picture Quote #1

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one Picture Quote #1

Whoever said life without love isn’t worth living didn’t own an iPhone. These things are great Picture Quote #1

Guys don’t use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you Picture Quote #1

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Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god’s sake would it kill you to smile Picture Quote #1

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That’s a lot less ironic if you’re a political prisoner in the Middle East Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They’re the adrenaline junkies of gayness. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I have emotional needs that I didn’t know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn’t know weren’t really needs. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I’m not saying I’d make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) My job as a comedian is to heighten awareness about locally grown produce, fight factory farming, and promote euthanasia, but in a funny way. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) People that say I have a ‘fear of commitment’ don’t understand my relationship with popcorn. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) America’s objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) One day I’d like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) You can’t assume the best about people. If I get a girl home and she takes her pants off, and it looks like she’s got herpes, I can’t afford to assume she got stung by a pack of bees. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) We’re in this together usually means I’m here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven’t seen them in 12 years. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) At the gym; I’ve given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don’t always like that. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Insecurity is like herpes. It’s not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I’ll just start dressing funnier. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Whoever said life without love isn’t worth living didn’t own an iPhone. These things are great. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Guys don’t use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god’s sake would it kill you to smile. (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That’s a lot less ironic if you’re a political prisoner in the Middle East. (Dov Davidoff Quotes)

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