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Dov Davidoff Quotes

Sex sells, but doesn’t work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I’ll make out with you so hard Picture Quote #1

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding Picture Quote #1

We’re in this together usually means I’m here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour Picture Quote #1

I find anger so comforting. It’s like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it’s a blanket none the less Picture Quote #1

You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don’t feel good enough about myself to not date you Picture Quote #1

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them Picture Quote #1

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Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don’t treat them with respect Picture Quote #1

America has so much debt, if she were a person she’d need a co-signer to get a car loan Picture Quote #1

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time Picture Quote #1

Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic Picture Quote #1

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you’re going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you Picture Quote #1

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach Picture Quote #1

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The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she’d lighten up a bit Picture Quote #1

I’ve never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It’s just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself Picture Quote #1

The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon Picture Quote #1

I really appreciate the way you don’t appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again Picture Quote #1

I’ve decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood Picture Quote #1

People shouldn’t take my lack of interest in what they’re saying personally. I don’t really care about what I’m saying most of the time Picture Quote #1

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Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it Picture Quote #1

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one’s sense of optimism Picture Quote #1

The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn’t hurt Picture Quote #1

I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren’t, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included Picture Quote #1

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you’re probably a bad actor Picture Quote #1

The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers Picture Quote #1

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The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint Picture Quote #1

Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer Picture Quote #1

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I’m crying first in which case I feel it’s appropriate Picture Quote #1

Heard someone say children are god’s gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what’s your definition of gift? Picture Quote #1

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you’ll need to wear padding Picture Quote #1

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Sex sells, but doesn’t work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I’ll make out with you so hard (Dov Davidoff Quotes) You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding (Dov Davidoff Quotes) We’re in this together usually means I’m here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I find anger so comforting. It’s like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it’s a blanket none the less (Dov Davidoff Quotes) You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don’t feel good enough about myself to not date you (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don’t treat them with respect (Dov Davidoff Quotes) America has so much debt, if she were a person she’d need a co-signer to get a car loan (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Is it a bad sign when someone asks you about the person your dating and a tear falls from your eye as you leap into oncoming traffic (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you’re going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach (Dov Davidoff Quotes) The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she’d lighten up a bit (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I’ve never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It’s just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself (Dov Davidoff Quotes) The downside of aging is a slower metabolism and achy joints.The upside is a knowledge of self that prevents one from behaving like a baboon (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I really appreciate the way you don’t appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I’ve decided to retreat to the spirit world where I feel appreciated and understood (Dov Davidoff Quotes) People shouldn’t take my lack of interest in what they’re saying personally. I don’t really care about what I’m saying most of the time (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one’s sense of optimism (Dov Davidoff Quotes) The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn’t hurt (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren’t, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included (Dov Davidoff Quotes) If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you’re probably a bad actor (Dov Davidoff Quotes) The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers (Dov Davidoff Quotes) The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer (Dov Davidoff Quotes) I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I’m crying first in which case I feel it’s appropriate (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Heard someone say children are god’s gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what’s your definition of gift? (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you’ll need to wear padding (Dov Davidoff Quotes) Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself (Dov Davidoff Quotes)

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