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Dylan Moran Quotes

You can’t please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won’t please anyone, least of all yourself Picture Quote #1

Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city; Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation Picture Quote #1

I don’t go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know? Picture Quote #1

The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you’re not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line Picture Quote #1

I really can’t describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it’s like that, or it’s like this, and that’s really up to them, that’s fine, but I don’t sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don’t do that then I won’t interest anybody else Picture Quote #1

When things are going well, I can’t write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it’s like fishing Picture Quote #1

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If you’re talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I’m interested in playing everywhere Picture Quote #1

You try various things when you’re growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up Picture Quote #1

I’d be hard-pressed to think of anybody who’s made me laugh, who’s funny, but who’s also relentlessly positive Picture Quote #1

I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week’s notice. That’s my film career, most of the time Picture Quote #1

I can’t swim. I can’t drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake Picture Quote #1

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it Picture Quote #1

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I thought The Office was good, though I didn’t think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme Picture Quote #1

The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It’s the greatest circus on Earth I suppose Picture Quote #1

When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves Picture Quote #1

You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand Picture Quote #1

Tequila? It’s not even a drink. It’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone Picture Quote #1

The characters can’t be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty Picture Quote #1

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I’ve seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that’s obviously less interesting because there’s less going on. I’m just being totally frank with you Picture Quote #1

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion Picture Quote #1

I’m actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s Picture Quote #1

I don’t know what I want but I know that I want it now Picture Quote #1

I don’t watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you’re alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more Picture Quote #1

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate Picture Quote #1

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I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it Picture Quote #1

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways Picture Quote #1

It’s true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book Picture Quote #1

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20 Picture Quote #1

You can’t please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won’t please anyone, least of all yourself Picture Quote #1

America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

You can’t please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won’t please anyone, least of all yourself. (Dylan Moran Quotes) Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city; Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I don’t go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know? (Dylan Moran Quotes) The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you’re not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I really can’t describe what my stand-up is like - people see it and they say it’s like that, or it’s like this, and that’s really up to them, that’s fine, but I don’t sit around all day analysing it. I just try and enjoy a show and interest myself because if I don’t do that then I won’t interest anybody else. (Dylan Moran Quotes) When things are going well, I can’t write fast enough to keep up with my mind. Writing walks, speech runs and talk flies. Other times, though, it’s like fishing. (Dylan Moran Quotes) If you’re talking about crowd enthusiasm, it varies. I have a decent following in Australia so I like there. I’m interested in playing everywhere. (Dylan Moran Quotes) You try various things when you’re growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I’d be hard-pressed to think of anybody who’s made me laugh, who’s funny, but who’s also relentlessly positive. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I get a phone call once every 18 months from some mad person who wants me to do something for less than no money and they give me about a week’s notice. That’s my film career, most of the time. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I can’t swim. I can’t drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake (Dylan Moran Quotes) I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I thought The Office was good, though I didn’t think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme. (Dylan Moran Quotes) The American political machinery is awesome to behold in its scale and expense and waste and madness. It’s the greatest circus on Earth I suppose. (Dylan Moran Quotes) When I was young, all the politicians looked like ancient Latin teachers or greengrocers. They were mumbly, stumbly men with their hair blowing in their eyes, walking into trees, opening the wrong door. They had no idea how to present themselves. (Dylan Moran Quotes) You’re not really an adult at all. You’re just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don’t understand. (Dylan Moran Quotes) Tequila? It’s not even a drink. It’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone. (Dylan Moran Quotes) The characters can’t be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty. (Dylan Moran Quotes) I’ve seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that’s obviously less interesting because there’s less going on. I’m just being totally frank with you. (Dylan Moran Quotes) Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion (Dylan Moran Quotes) I’m actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s (Dylan Moran Quotes) I don’t know what I want but I know that I want it now (Dylan Moran Quotes) I don’t watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you’re alone and someones voice is coming through their work. Theres a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more (Dylan Moran Quotes) I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate (Dylan Moran Quotes) I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don’t think I’d be very good at it (Dylan Moran Quotes) In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways (Dylan Moran Quotes) It’s true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book (Dylan Moran Quotes) Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20 (Dylan Moran Quotes) You can’t please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won’t please anyone, least of all yourself (Dylan Moran Quotes) America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in (Dylan Moran Quotes)

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