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Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room Picture Quote #1

You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don’t? Like when it’s a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, ‘Its so cold, aren’t you cold?’ and then they say ‘no.’ It’s kinda like, ‘what, are you a communist? Picture Quote #1

The definition of success changes. Success is to live your life with integrity and not give in to peer pressure to be something you’re not. Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path; unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path, then by all means, you should follow that Picture Quote #1

We stock up on popcorn and candy like we’re crossing the Sierras, don’t we? I’ll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you’ve got there, that bucket? You don’t have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke Picture Quote #1

My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I’m not Picture Quote #1

If anybody could put themselves in that situation of feeling a giant loud voice saying you don’t deserve the same rights, you are different and you are not equal, it feels really bad Picture Quote #1

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I’ve always said, I like my coffee like I like my men... I don’t drink coffee Picture Quote #1

Standup is more me talking the entire time. There’s definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back Picture Quote #1

Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast Picture Quote #1

All we have is here and now. That’s why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution Picture Quote #1

I’ve been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it’s pretty equal. I don’t know why that is. It’s been the same thing for a while. It’s hard for female comedians to stand out. That’s weird. That’s a shame Picture Quote #1

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings Picture Quote #1

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I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out Picture Quote #1

I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it’s perfect or not Picture Quote #1

In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean Picture Quote #1

I’m going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there Picture Quote #1

Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor Picture Quote #1

Why can’t rappers just say nice things? Like I wanna take your clothes off and hang them up in the closet real nice Picture Quote #1

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That woman in the shampoo commercial - she’s happy. She’s... she’s too happy Picture Quote #1

We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy Picture Quote #1

... there are a lot of self-righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them... you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self-righteous kooks are Picture Quote #1

Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off Picture Quote #1

Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don't put it off Picture Quote #1

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut Picture Quote #1

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Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink Picture Quote #1

I would love for the world to be happier Picture Quote #1

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most Picture Quote #1

People love gossip. It’s the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going Picture Quote #1

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day Picture Quote #1

I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) You know how you always expect someone to think the same as you and then your like, really shocked when they don’t? Like when it’s a cold day and you turn to the person next to you and say, ‘Its so cold, aren’t you cold?’ and then they say ‘no.’ It’s kinda like, ‘what, are you a communist? (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) The definition of success changes. Success is to live your life with integrity and not give in to peer pressure to be something you’re not. Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path; unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path, then by all means, you should follow that. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) We stock up on popcorn and candy like we’re crossing the Sierras, don’t we? I’ll have a couple of soft pretzels, a hot dog, Milk Duds, Snocaps. Is that the largest popcorn you’ve got there, that bucket? You don’t have a barrel or anything like that? Do you have a donkey or a pack mule or anything? - Oh, and a Diet Coke. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I’m not (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) If anybody could put themselves in that situation of feeling a giant loud voice saying you don’t deserve the same rights, you are different and you are not equal, it feels really bad. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I’ve always said, I like my coffee like I like my men... I don’t drink coffee. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Standup is more me talking the entire time. There’s definitely an exchange of energy because that room, that audience, is giving back. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) All we have is here and now. That’s why procrastination feels so right. Procrastination isn’t the problem, it’s the solution. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I’ve been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it’s pretty equal. I don’t know why that is. It’s been the same thing for a while. It’s hard for female comedians to stand out. That’s weird. That’s a shame. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I put a basketball in front of George Clooney’s door and sprayed it with supermodel perfume to lure him out. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it’s perfect or not. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I’m going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer out there. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Why can’t rappers just say nice things? Like I wanna take your clothes off and hang them up in the closet real nice. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) That woman in the shampoo commercial - she’s happy. She’s... she’s too happy. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy. (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) ... there are a lot of self-righteous people out there. And if you try to adjust your life to please them... you're just going to go crazy and risk being as unhappy as these self-righteous kooks are (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. Procrastinate now, don't put it off (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Romance often begins by a splashing waterfall and ends over a leaky sink (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I would love for the world to be happier (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) People love gossip. It’s the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes) I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises (Ellen DeGeneres Quotes)

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