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Erma Bombeck Quotes

I used everything you gave me Picture Quote #1

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment Picture Quote #1

Do I have to use my own money? Picture Quote #1

If compliments were food, I’d have starved to death 28 years ago Picture Quote #1

Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not Picture Quote #1

It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line Picture Quote #1

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A child develops individuality long before he develops taste Picture Quote #1

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus Picture Quote #1

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old Picture Quote #1

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway Picture Quote #1

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A. M. What it wants to eat at 6 P. M Picture Quote #1

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent Picture Quote #1

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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair Picture Quote #1

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you Picture Quote #1

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he’s a priest Picture Quote #1

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ‘Checkout Time is 18 years.’ Picture Quote #1

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children’s eyes, they’d flinch and call their attorney Picture Quote #1

What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? Picture Quote #1

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Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, ‘A house guest,’ you’re wrong because I have just described my kids Picture Quote #1

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism Picture Quote #1

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? Picture Quote #1

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates Picture Quote #1

It was a bitter moment for us. We weren’t two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy’s permission, blessings, and money to survive Picture Quote #1

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven Picture Quote #1

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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on Picture Quote #1

I’ve always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby Picture Quote #1

Spend at least one Mother’s Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him Picture Quote #1

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna Picture Quote #1

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States Picture Quote #1

I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I used everything you gave me (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Do I have to use my own money? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) If compliments were food, I’d have starved to death 28 years ago (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not (Erma Bombeck Quotes) It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A child develops individuality long before he develops taste (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old (Erma Bombeck Quotes) When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway (Erma Bombeck Quotes) There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A. M. What it wants to eat at 6 P. M (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you (Erma Bombeck Quotes) A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he’s a priest (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: ‘Checkout Time is 18 years.’ (Erma Bombeck Quotes) If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children’s eyes, they’d flinch and call their attorney (Erma Bombeck Quotes) What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, ‘A house guest,’ you’re wrong because I have just described my kids (Erma Bombeck Quotes) You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism (Erma Bombeck Quotes) What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? (Erma Bombeck Quotes) You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren’t dying. They’re merging into big conglomerates (Erma Bombeck Quotes) It was a bitter moment for us. We weren’t two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy’s permission, blessings, and money to survive (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I’ve always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Spend at least one Mother’s Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him (Erma Bombeck Quotes) Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna (Erma Bombeck Quotes) When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States (Erma Bombeck Quotes) I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet (Erma Bombeck Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6 - 9