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Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
My sister and I never engaged in sibling rivalry. Our parents weren’t that crazy about either one of us. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don’t understand what a doctor’s talking about the first time around, so they don’t ask again. And let’s be honest here, people. English is not a doctor’s first language. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
A fitting room to me has always been like a confessional ... where my body and my contrition take up the entire room. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
What makes people laugh? . . . It’s a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who’s got one to give. (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty two years of child raising, they are unemployed (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Children make your life important (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Never have more children than you have car windows (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Never order food in excess of your body weight (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
When humor goes, there goes civilization (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
When children reach the age of sixteen, they discover the meaning of life: car keys (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
I’m so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television (Erma Bombeck Quotes)
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along (Erma Bombeck Quotes)