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Fred Allen Quotes

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted Picture Quote #1
It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals Picture Quote #1
Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great Picture Quote #1
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines Picture Quote #1
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch Picture Quote #1
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it Picture Quote #1
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone Picture Quote #1
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. all that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter Picture Quote #1
He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument Picture Quote #1
Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you’ll end up in the police station Picture Quote #1
He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes Picture Quote #1
I’m going to Boston to see my doctor. He’s a very sick man Picture Quote #1
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He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose Picture Quote #1
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat Picture Quote #1
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself Picture Quote #1
Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat’s navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent’s heart Picture Quote #1
With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely Picture Quote #1
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back Picture Quote #1
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Text Quotes
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted  (Fred Allen Quotes) It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals  (Fred Allen Quotes) Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great  (Fred Allen Quotes) I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines  (Fred Allen Quotes) A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch  (Fred Allen Quotes) If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it  (Fred Allen Quotes) He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone  (Fred Allen Quotes) When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. all that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter  (Fred Allen Quotes) He always had a chip on his shoulder that he was ready to use to kindle an argument  (Fred Allen Quotes) Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you’ll end up in the police station  (Fred Allen Quotes) He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes  (Fred Allen Quotes) I’m going to Boston to see my doctor. He’s a very sick man  (Fred Allen Quotes) He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose  (Fred Allen Quotes) When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat  (Fred Allen Quotes) A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself  (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat’s navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent’s heart  (Fred Allen Quotes) With the advance of refrigeration, I hope that along with the frozen foods someday we will have frozen conversation. A person will be able to keep a frozen promise indefinitely  (Fred Allen Quotes) My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back  (Fred Allen Quotes)
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