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Fred Allen Quotes

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I’m going to Boston to see my doctor. He’s a very sick man.  (Fred Allen Quotes) There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes  (Fred Allen Quotes) She used to be a teacher but she has no class now  (Fred Allen Quotes) Hollywood is a great place if you’re an orange  (Fred Allen Quotes) Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners  (Fred Allen Quotes) What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement  (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well done  (Fred Allen Quotes) The world is a grindstone and life is your nose  (Fred Allen Quotes) Hush, little bright line, don't you cry You'll be a cliché by and by  (Fred Allen Quotes) I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty four  (Fred Allen Quotes) Won't say I hate you - but my admiration for you is under control  (Fred Allen Quotes) Where were you fellows when the paper was blank?  (Fred Allen Quotes) After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins  (Fred Allen Quotes) It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips  (Fred Allen Quotes) He’s so small, he’s a waste of skin  (Fred Allen Quotes) If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now  (Fred Allen Quotes) A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it  (Fred Allen Quotes) Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done  (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is a triumph of equipment over people  (Fred Allen Quotes) English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve  (Fred Allen Quotes) If children could vote, Jesse Jackson would be our next president  (Fred Allen Quotes) In show business, more showgirls are kept than promises  (Fred Allen Quotes) A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal  (Fred Allen Quotes) My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches  (Fred Allen Quotes) The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed  (Fred Allen Quotes) All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it  (Fred Allen Quotes) An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission  (Fred Allen Quotes) California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange  (Fred Allen Quotes) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me  (Fred Allen Quotes) Television is a medium because anything well done is rare  (Fred Allen Quotes)
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