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Funeral Quotes

I am a born-again atheist, so there isn’t going to be a funeral. I will be buried in a linen wrap in a cardboard coffin in my forest with an oak tree planted on my head Picture Quote #1

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom’s funeral, while I was asleep Picture Quote #1

What am I most ashamed of in my life? Not keeping my promise to my sister and being too scared of America to attend her funeral Picture Quote #1

My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here! Picture Quote #1

I’m used to being in front of camera and knowing what to think. But if you’re asking me to be me, I get very self-conscious. My job isn’t to be me. Being an actor, people think you can do a eulogy at a funeral, a speech at a wedding. I find all that very nerve-racking Picture Quote #1

I want them to play Britney Spears at my funeral. This way I won’t feel so bad about being dead, and everyone there will know there is something worse than Death Picture Quote #1

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That’s the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother’s funeral, but you don’t switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill. Who was it said - one of the famous lady novelists - ‘unhappy is the family that contains an author’? Picture Quote #1

Walking out in the middle of a funeral would be, of course, bad form. So attempting to walk out on one’s own was beyond the pale Picture Quote #1

Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who’s knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that’s some kind of record Picture Quote #1

I grew up in a funeral home, born and raised, and everyone was always like, ‘Well, what was that like?’ and I was like, ‘It was normal’, because it’s all I knew Picture Quote #1

To pay for my father’s funeral I borrowed money from people he already owed money to. One called him a nobody. No, I said, he was a failure. You can’t remember a nobody’s name, that’s why they’re called nobodies. Failures are unforgettable Picture Quote #1

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The priesthood is not dying, but the clerical state is dead. It needs to be buried, preferably with a Viking funeral in Boston Harbor so nobody can miss the spectacle of its passing Picture Quote #1

The home funeral - caring for the dead ourselves - changes our relationship to grieving. If you have been married to someone for 50 years, why would you let someone take them away the moment they die? Picture Quote #1

If you’re dressed for my funeral, it’s too casual. If it’s just street clothes, then you must be scaring the tourists Picture Quote #1

And Tom brought him chicken soup until he wanted to kill him. The lore has not died out of the world, and you will still find people who believe that soup will cure any hurt or illness and is no bad thing to have for the funeral either Picture Quote #1

It amazes me that the most Christian funerals are the most barbaric funeral rites of passage that are celebrated anywhere in the world Picture Quote #1

I think you should control yourself a little bit, so you can walk, and when you die, you can walk to your own funeral Picture Quote #1

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At my dad’s funeral I didn’t cry when my dad died. I did it years later when I forgave him, which I’ve totally forgiven him and I loved my dad Picture Quote #1

I used to have an eBay addiction. I was really good at selling stuff. My sister needed to get to a funeral in Ireland - the airlines were on strike - so I listed her on eBay: damsel in distress. Guys were outbidding guys to be the hero and help her. A guy who owned a helicopter won Picture Quote #1

Dad’s funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he’d saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour Picture Quote #1

When I’m dead I don’t want a funeral. I want people to remember me alive Picture Quote #1

How many people delay the kindness, the expression of love, until the person is dead, beyond their reach, and then try to atone for a neglected past by flowers and tears at the funeral! Picture Quote #1

I really want Americans, and all of us, to be less afraid of death, and know that it’s a passage, but that - don’t go to the funeral before the day of the funeral Picture Quote #1

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In our society, any man who doesn’t cry at his mother’s funeral is liable to be condemned to death Picture Quote #1

We spend our years with sighing; it is a valleyof tears; but death is the funeral of all our sorrows Picture Quote #1

A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death Picture Quote #1

Man’s last day must ever be awaited and none to be counted happy until his death, until his last funeral rites are paid Picture Quote #1

A friend of mine said something powerful at his grandfather’s funeral. He said that the greatest lesson from his grandfather’s life was that he died empty, because he accomplished everything he wanted, with no regrets. I think that, along with leaving a legacy, would be the greatest sign of success Picture Quote #1

Come now, don’t make such a funeral face. It isn’t dying that’s sad; it’s living when you’re not happy Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I am a born-again atheist, so there isn’t going to be a funeral. I will be buried in a linen wrap in a cardboard coffin in my forest with an oak tree planted on my head. (Funeral Quotes) My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom’s funeral, while I was asleep. (Funeral Quotes) What am I most ashamed of in my life? Not keeping my promise to my sister and being too scared of America to attend her funeral. (Funeral Quotes) My father died in France, and my sisters and I went over with my mum to bring back his body. I remember going to the funeral parlour in France and being given a laminated menu of coffins, and thinking, surely there is an ice cream at the back of here! (Funeral Quotes) I’m used to being in front of camera and knowing what to think. But if you’re asking me to be me, I get very self-conscious. My job isn’t to be me. Being an actor, people think you can do a eulogy at a funeral, a speech at a wedding. I find all that very nerve-racking. (Funeral Quotes) I want them to play Britney Spears at my funeral. This way I won’t feel so bad about being dead, and everyone there will know there is something worse than Death. (Funeral Quotes) That’s the most terrible thing about being an author - standing there at your mother’s funeral, but you don’t switch the author off. So your own innermost thoughts are grist for the mill. Who was it said - one of the famous lady novelists - ‘unhappy is the family that contains an author’? (Funeral Quotes) Walking out in the middle of a funeral would be, of course, bad form. So attempting to walk out on one’s own was beyond the pale. (Funeral Quotes) It doesn’t matter how big a ranch you own or how many cows you brand, the size of your funeral is still gonna depend on the weather. (Funeral Quotes) Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who’s knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that’s some kind of record. (Funeral Quotes) I grew up in a funeral home, born and raised, and everyone was always like, ‘Well, what was that like?’ and I was like, ‘It was normal’, because it’s all I knew. (Funeral Quotes) To pay for my father’s funeral I borrowed money from people he already owed money to. One called him a nobody. No, I said, he was a failure. You can’t remember a nobody’s name, that’s why they’re called nobodies. Failures are unforgettable. (Funeral Quotes) The priesthood is not dying, but the clerical state is dead. It needs to be buried, preferably with a Viking funeral in Boston Harbor so nobody can miss the spectacle of its passing. (Funeral Quotes) The home funeral - caring for the dead ourselves - changes our relationship to grieving. If you have been married to someone for 50 years, why would you let someone take them away the moment they die? (Funeral Quotes) If you’re dressed for my funeral, it’s too casual. If it’s just street clothes, then you must be scaring the tourists. (Funeral Quotes) And Tom brought him chicken soup until he wanted to kill him. The lore has not died out of the world, and you will still find people who believe that soup will cure any hurt or illness and is no bad thing to have for the funeral either. (Funeral Quotes) It amazes me that the most Christian funerals are the most barbaric funeral rites of passage that are celebrated anywhere in the world. (Funeral Quotes) I think you should control yourself a little bit, so you can walk, and when you die, you can walk to your own funeral. (Funeral Quotes) At my dad’s funeral I didn’t cry when my dad died. I did it years later when I forgave him, which I’ve totally forgiven him and I loved my dad. (Funeral Quotes) I used to have an eBay addiction. I was really good at selling stuff. My sister needed to get to a funeral in Ireland - the airlines were on strike - so I listed her on eBay: damsel in distress. Guys were outbidding guys to be the hero and help her. A guy who owned a helicopter won. (Funeral Quotes) Dad’s funeral was standing room only; most in attendance were strangers to me. At the back, a lone Marine stood silently, then left. People told me he’d saved their life or helped them in their darkest hour. (Funeral Quotes) When I’m dead I don’t want a funeral. I want people to remember me alive. (Funeral Quotes) How many people delay the kindness, the expression of love, until the person is dead, beyond their reach, and then try to atone for a neglected past by flowers and tears at the funeral! (Funeral Quotes) I really want Americans, and all of us, to be less afraid of death, and know that it’s a passage, but that - don’t go to the funeral before the day of the funeral. (Funeral Quotes) In our society, any man who doesn’t cry at his mother’s funeral is liable to be condemned to death. (Funeral Quotes) We spend our years with sighing; it is a valleyof tears; but death is the funeral of all our sorrows. (Funeral Quotes) A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death. (Funeral Quotes) Man’s last day must ever be awaited and none to be counted happy until his death, until his last funeral rites are paid. (Funeral Quotes) A friend of mine said something powerful at his grandfather’s funeral. He said that the greatest lesson from his grandfather’s life was that he died empty, because he accomplished everything he wanted, with no regrets. I think that, along with leaving a legacy, would be the greatest sign of success. (Funeral Quotes) Come now, don’t make such a funeral face. It isn’t dying that’s sad; it’s living when you’re not happy. (Funeral Quotes)

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