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Funniest Quotes Ever

Both of us can't look good at the same time - it's me or the house. Picture Quote #1

Today the dog. Tomorrow the world Picture Quote #1

Yoga. Vodka Picture Quote #1

Thank goodness pets can't talk, they all know too much Picture Quote #1

Now I can get fat Picture Quote #1

I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour Picture Quote #1

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That was too close. I almost had to socialize Picture Quote #1

This is the worst day of my life. The worst day of your life so far Picture Quote #1

I want you to think about it long and hard. That’s what she said. Don’t, Don’t you dare Picture Quote #1

12 hours of labor? I am going to hear about this for the rest of my life Picture Quote #1

When a girl says “ok have fun” DO NOT HAVE FUN. Abort mission. I repeat, abort mission Picture Quote #1

When a woman says nothing's wrong that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong that means everything is wrong Picture Quote #1

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You look like I need a drink Picture Quote #1

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge Picture Quote #1

If a woman tells you “you’re right” that’s called sarcasm Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

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Text Quotes

Both of us can't look good at the same time - it's me or the house. (Funniest Quotes Ever) Today the dog. Tomorrow the world (Funniest Quotes Ever) Yoga. Vodka (Funniest Quotes Ever) Thank goodness pets can't talk, they all know too much (Funniest Quotes Ever) Now I can get fat (Funniest Quotes Ever) I told you I'll be ready in FIVE minutes stop, calling me every half hour (Funniest Quotes Ever) That was too close. I almost had to socialize (Funniest Quotes Ever) This is the worst day of my life. The worst day of your life so far (Funniest Quotes Ever) I want you to think about it long and hard. That’s what she said. Don’t, Don’t you dare (Funniest Quotes Ever) 12 hours of labor? I am going to hear about this for the rest of my life (Funniest Quotes Ever) When a girl says “ok have fun” DO NOT HAVE FUN. Abort mission. I repeat, abort mission (Funniest Quotes Ever) When a woman says nothing's wrong that means everything is wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong that means everything is wrong (Funniest Quotes Ever) You look like I need a drink (Funniest Quotes Ever) Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot revenge (Funniest Quotes Ever) If a woman tells you “you’re right” that’s called sarcasm (Funniest Quotes Ever)

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