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Funny Dating Quotes

Me trying to flirt. Do you like... cheese? Picture Quote #1

The perfect pants for your first date Picture Quote #1

Brad arrived early for his blind date with Sylvia. Already things were looking doubtful Picture Quote #1

My weekends are for meeting new guys Picture Quote #1

So I’ll pick you up around 10? At night? Picture Quote #1

A girl phoned me the other day and said... ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home Picture Quote #1

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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t Picture Quote #1

You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’ Picture Quote #1

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not ‘cause I hate her so much as it’s just easier for when my friends go, ‘Hey, what happened?’ ‘Oh, she’s dead. I’d still be with her, but she’s dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she’s dead.’ Picture Quote #1

I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not Picture Quote #1

I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner Picture Quote #1

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil Picture Quote #1

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I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ‘til you hear water Picture Quote #1

Look, this is an odd question, but you’re kind of cute and you’re pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It’s OK if you are Picture Quote #1

Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking...,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something Picture Quote #1

I am officially lowering my dating standards to include anyone who may have access to a swimming pool. I will learn to love you. Call me Picture Quote #1

A date is on experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone Picture Quote #1

Don’t worry, everything will be okay. I’m from the internet. Online dating - you’re doing it wrong Picture Quote #1

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In New Mexico, a man was arrested for buying a woman food so that she would have sex with him. The man has been charged with “dating” Picture Quote #1

You’re the only one who’s truly nice to me, maybe we should give it a shot. Said no girl ever! Picture Quote #1

Oh look! It’s a finished painting of the people who want to date you Picture Quote #1

You don’t “take a run” at a woman. You woo her. You make her feel special. Hey, hon, take a look at this, it’s a picture of my butt. And then when you get her, you can tell her whatever you want Picture Quote #1

Let’s try having sex before we rush into dating Picture Quote #1

Becka was almost good looking enough to be on a reality dating show, but not funny looking or sad enough to be on one of the makeover shows Picture Quote #1

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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t Picture Quote #1

The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me Picture Quote #1

I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison Picture Quote #1

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it Picture Quote #1

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Me trying to flirt. Do you like... cheese? (Funny Dating Quotes) The perfect pants for your first date (Funny Dating Quotes) Brad arrived early for his blind date with Sylvia. Already things were looking doubtful (Funny Dating Quotes) My weekends are for meeting new guys (Funny Dating Quotes) So I’ll pick you up around 10? At night? (Funny Dating Quotes) A girl phoned me the other day and said... ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home. (Funny Dating Quotes) I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t. (Funny Dating Quotes) You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’ (Funny Dating Quotes) If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not ‘cause I hate her so much as it’s just easier for when my friends go, ‘Hey, what happened?’ ‘Oh, she’s dead. I’d still be with her, but she’s dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she’s dead.’ (Funny Dating Quotes) I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not (Funny Dating Quotes) I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner (Funny Dating Quotes) There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil (Funny Dating Quotes) I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ‘til you hear water (Funny Dating Quotes) Look, this is an odd question, but you’re kind of cute and you’re pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It’s OK if you are (Funny Dating Quotes) Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking...,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something (Funny Dating Quotes) I am officially lowering my dating standards to include anyone who may have access to a swimming pool. I will learn to love you. Call me (Funny Dating Quotes) A date is on experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone (Funny Dating Quotes) Don’t worry, everything will be okay. I’m from the internet. Online dating - you’re doing it wrong (Funny Dating Quotes) In New Mexico, a man was arrested for buying a woman food so that she would have sex with him. The man has been charged with “dating” (Funny Dating Quotes) You’re the only one who’s truly nice to me, maybe we should give it a shot. Said no girl ever! (Funny Dating Quotes) Oh look! It’s a finished painting of the people who want to date you (Funny Dating Quotes) You don’t “take a run” at a woman. You woo her. You make her feel special. Hey, hon, take a look at this, it’s a picture of my butt. And then when you get her, you can tell her whatever you want (Funny Dating Quotes) Let’s try having sex before we rush into dating (Funny Dating Quotes) Becka was almost good looking enough to be on a reality dating show, but not funny looking or sad enough to be on one of the makeover shows (Funny Dating Quotes) I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t (Funny Dating Quotes) The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me (Funny Dating Quotes) I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison (Funny Dating Quotes) Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it (Funny Dating Quotes)