|

|

Advertisements

Funny Life Quotes

Life... is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast Picture Quote #1

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home Picture Quote #1

I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had Picture Quote #1

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered Picture Quote #1

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Picture Quote #1

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out Picture Quote #1

The gods throw the dice and they don’t ask whether we want to be in the game or not Picture Quote #1

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it Picture Quote #1

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke Picture Quote #1

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink Picture Quote #1

Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I’m in no condition to drive... wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk! Picture Quote #1

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other Picture Quote #1

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it Picture Quote #1

Funny how someone can come into your life for such a brief time but leave such a lasting impression Picture Quote #1

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life Picture Quote #1

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first Picture Quote #1

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us Picture Quote #1

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it Picture Quote #1

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny Picture Quote #1

Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it Picture Quote #1

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny Picture Quote #1

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

Life... is like a grapefruit. It’s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast (Funny Life Quotes) Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home (Funny Life Quotes) I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had (Funny Life Quotes) If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered (Funny Life Quotes) Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? (Funny Life Quotes) There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo (Funny Life Quotes) Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out (Funny Life Quotes) The gods throw the dice and they don’t ask whether we want to be in the game or not (Funny Life Quotes) All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it (Funny Life Quotes) It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke (Funny Life Quotes) Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink (Funny Life Quotes) Life is a maze in which we take the wrong turning before we have learned to walk (Funny Life Quotes) I’m in no condition to drive... wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk! (Funny Life Quotes) My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other (Funny Life Quotes) Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it (Funny Life Quotes) Funny how someone can come into your life for such a brief time but leave such a lasting impression (Funny Life Quotes) The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life (Funny Life Quotes) Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry (Funny Life Quotes) Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first (Funny Life Quotes) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us (Funny Life Quotes) There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it (Funny Life Quotes) Life would be tragic if it weren't funny (Funny Life Quotes) Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it (Funny Life Quotes) It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life (Funny Life Quotes) I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny (Funny Life Quotes) Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh (Funny Life Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6