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Funny Marriage Quotes

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued Picture Quote #1

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault Picture Quote #1

Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me? Ok. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it Picture Quote #1

When you see a cute stranger. Hi, you don't know me, but we're gonna be married Picture Quote #1

My sister just got married, she asked me to save her newspaper from her wedding day Picture Quote #1

I’ll never be a bride again. Now I’m just someone’s wife. And I’m the happiest guy in the world Picture Quote #1

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I didn’t sleep with my husband before we were married, did you? I don’t know, what’s your husbands name again? Picture Quote #1

In marriage, being right is less important than being supportive. Remember: Happy wife equals happy life Picture Quote #1

Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night? Actually, I am getting married on Saturday. Friday night? Picture Quote #1

If gays wanna get married and be miserable like the rest of us, I say we should let ‘em Picture Quote #1

If I get married, I want to be very married Picture Quote #1

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle Picture Quote #1

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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong Picture Quote #1

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly Picture Quote #1

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures Picture Quote #1

Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people Picture Quote #1

The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say Picture Quote #1

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham Picture Quote #1

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The basic fact is you can either be happily married, or you can be right, but you can’t be both Picture Quote #1

But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it’s not funny. There’s no conflict Picture Quote #1

I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it’s a different world Picture Quote #1

Sometimes I even feel funny to say I’m in a biracial marriage because people are like, ‘Oh, he’s Asian?’ The subtext is, ‘Who cares? You didn’t marry a black person.’ Picture Quote #1

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means Picture Quote #1

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere Picture Quote #1

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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished Picture Quote #1

You know what’s funny? I don’t ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don’t see that happening to me Picture Quote #1

It’s funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I’m rounder in the face, I like to say, ‘This is my long-term look.’ Or ‘This is my wife-and-kids look right here.’ Picture Quote #1

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge Picture Quote #1

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked Picture Quote #1

Marriage is like a besieged castle; those who are on the outside wish to get in; and those who are on the inside wish to get out Picture Quote #1

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Text Quotes

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued (Funny Marriage Quotes) A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault (Funny Marriage Quotes) Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me? Ok. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it (Funny Marriage Quotes) When you see a cute stranger. Hi, you don't know me, but we're gonna be married (Funny Marriage Quotes) My sister just got married, she asked me to save her newspaper from her wedding day (Funny Marriage Quotes) I’ll never be a bride again. Now I’m just someone’s wife. And I’m the happiest guy in the world (Funny Marriage Quotes) I didn’t sleep with my husband before we were married, did you? I don’t know, what’s your husbands name again? (Funny Marriage Quotes) In marriage, being right is less important than being supportive. Remember: Happy wife equals happy life (Funny Marriage Quotes) Do you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night? Actually, I am getting married on Saturday. Friday night? (Funny Marriage Quotes) If gays wanna get married and be miserable like the rest of us, I say we should let ‘em (Funny Marriage Quotes) If I get married, I want to be very married (Funny Marriage Quotes) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle (Funny Marriage Quotes) Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures (Funny Marriage Quotes) Nice people don’t necessarily fall in love with nice people (Funny Marriage Quotes) The ideal husband understands every word his wife doesn’t say (Funny Marriage Quotes) The definition of eternity is two people and a ham (Funny Marriage Quotes) The basic fact is you can either be happily married, or you can be right, but you can’t be both (Funny Marriage Quotes) But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it’s not funny. There’s no conflict (Funny Marriage Quotes) I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it’s a different world (Funny Marriage Quotes) Sometimes I even feel funny to say I’m in a biracial marriage because people are like, ‘Oh, he’s Asian?’ The subtext is, ‘Who cares? You didn’t marry a black person.’ (Funny Marriage Quotes) Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. (Funny Marriage Quotes) Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. (Funny Marriage Quotes) A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. (Funny Marriage Quotes) You know what’s funny? I don’t ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don’t see that happening to me. (Funny Marriage Quotes) It’s funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I’m rounder in the face, I like to say, ‘This is my long-term look.’ Or ‘This is my wife-and-kids look right here.’ (Funny Marriage Quotes) Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge (Funny Marriage Quotes) That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage is like a besieged castle; those who are on the outside wish to get in; and those who are on the inside wish to get out (Funny Marriage Quotes)

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