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Funny Marriage Quotes

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives Picture Quote #1

Bigamy? It’s having one wife too much... ... Monogamy? It’s the same Picture Quote #1

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it Picture Quote #1

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life Picture Quote #1

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then Picture Quote #1

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success Picture Quote #1

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The old theory was

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up Picture Quote #1

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life Picture Quote #1

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on Earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married Picture Quote #1

At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but just as soon as she gets one, she wants everything else in the world Picture Quote #1

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him Picture Quote #1

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A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time Picture Quote #1

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t Picture Quote #1

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means Picture Quote #1

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without Picture Quote #1

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night Picture Quote #1

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books Picture Quote #1

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In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage Picture Quote #1

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house Picture Quote #1

Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn’t be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he’s the person I want to strain with Picture Quote #1

The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters Picture Quote #1

I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer Picture Quote #1

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path Picture Quote #1

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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison Picture Quote #1

I didn’t plan on being a comedian. I didn’t plan on getting married and I didn’t plan on having kids, but I did all those things Picture Quote #1

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe Picture Quote #1

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were Picture Quote #1

My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties... welcome to my world Picture Quote #1

Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right, and the other is the husband! Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives (Funny Marriage Quotes) Bigamy? It’s having one wife too much... ... Monogamy? It’s the same (Funny Marriage Quotes) Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it (Funny Marriage Quotes) I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life (Funny Marriage Quotes) Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then (Funny Marriage Quotes) Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success (Funny Marriage Quotes) The old theory was "Marry an older man, because they're more mature." but the new theory is: "Men don't mature. marry a younger one." (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up (Funny Marriage Quotes) It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life (Funny Marriage Quotes) It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on Earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married (Funny Marriage Quotes) At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but just as soon as she gets one, she wants everything else in the world (Funny Marriage Quotes) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him (Funny Marriage Quotes) A married couple are well suited when both partners usually feel the need for a quarrel at the same time (Funny Marriage Quotes) An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t (Funny Marriage Quotes) Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means (Funny Marriage Quotes) Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without (Funny Marriage Quotes) I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night (Funny Marriage Quotes) If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books (Funny Marriage Quotes) In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house (Funny Marriage Quotes) Neither of us entered marriage thinking it wouldn’t be a strain. Life has strains in it, and he’s the person I want to strain with (Funny Marriage Quotes) The great secret of a successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters (Funny Marriage Quotes) I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer (Funny Marriage Quotes) If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path (Funny Marriage Quotes) Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison (Funny Marriage Quotes) I didn’t plan on being a comedian. I didn’t plan on getting married and I didn’t plan on having kids, but I did all those things (Funny Marriage Quotes) My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe (Funny Marriage Quotes) We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were (Funny Marriage Quotes) My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties... welcome to my world (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right, and the other is the husband! (Funny Marriage Quotes)

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