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Funny Marriage Quotes

I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff Picture Quote #1

We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse Picture Quote #1

Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I’m married, I also get really good jewelry out of it Picture Quote #1

I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much Picture Quote #1

I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can’t be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn’t happened. But weddings always make me cry Picture Quote #1

You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride...? I wonder what I was blushing about? Picture Quote #1

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When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine’s upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours! Picture Quote #1

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows Picture Quote #1

I’ve been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was Picture Quote #1

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money Picture Quote #1

Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up Picture Quote #1

An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce Picture Quote #1

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An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know Picture Quote #1

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did Picture Quote #1

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it Picture Quote #1

It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them Picture Quote #1

Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? Picture Quote #1

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century Picture Quote #1

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Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child Picture Quote #1

It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can Picture Quote #1

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere Picture Quote #1

You know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... husband!!! Picture Quote #1

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they’re indicted Picture Quote #1

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast Picture Quote #1

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I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical Picture Quote #1

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women Picture Quote #1

If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears Picture Quote #1

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight Picture Quote #1

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards Picture Quote #1

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again Picture Quote #1

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I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff (Funny Marriage Quotes) We were married for better or worse. I couldn’t have done better, and she couldn’t have done worse (Funny Marriage Quotes) Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I’m married, I also get really good jewelry out of it (Funny Marriage Quotes) I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much (Funny Marriage Quotes) I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can’t be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn’t happened. But weddings always make me cry (Funny Marriage Quotes) You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride...? I wonder what I was blushing about? (Funny Marriage Quotes) When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine’s upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours! (Funny Marriage Quotes) If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows (Funny Marriage Quotes) I’ve been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was (Funny Marriage Quotes) The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money (Funny Marriage Quotes) Sex in marriage is like medicine. Three times a day for the first week. Then once a day for another week. Then once every three or four days till the condition clears up (Funny Marriage Quotes) An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce (Funny Marriage Quotes) An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring... I ought to know (Funny Marriage Quotes) Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did (Funny Marriage Quotes) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it (Funny Marriage Quotes) It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? (Funny Marriage Quotes) Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child (Funny Marriage Quotes) It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can (Funny Marriage Quotes) Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere (Funny Marriage Quotes) You know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time... husband!!! (Funny Marriage Quotes) The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they’re indicted (Funny Marriage Quotes) There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast (Funny Marriage Quotes) I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical (Funny Marriage Quotes) Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women (Funny Marriage Quotes) If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears (Funny Marriage Quotes) Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight (Funny Marriage Quotes) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards (Funny Marriage Quotes) One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again (Funny Marriage Quotes)

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