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Funny Quotes

The funny thing is, I don’t actually think of myself as fat at all. I don’t think I am. Not really Picture Quote #1

In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not Picture Quote #1

The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn’t just common to me; it’s anybody who’s funny Picture Quote #1

I’ve always enjoyed watching characters that aren’t aware that they’re doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier Picture Quote #1

I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn’t want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn’t have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It’s funny because I’d always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn’t think that I would be in the movies Picture Quote #1

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings Picture Quote #1

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Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon Picture Quote #1

Isn’t it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks Picture Quote #1

Sitting on the floor, I’d replay the past in my head. Funny, that’s all I did, day after day after day for half a year, and I never tired of it. What I’d been through seemed so vast, with so many facets. Vast, but real, very real, which was why the experience persisted in towering before me, like a monument lit up at night. And the thing was, it was a monument to me Picture Quote #1

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world Picture Quote #1

It’s funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It’s like they think it won’t ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place Picture Quote #1

It was funny how the old practices always came around again. It was the rhythm of human enterprise to invent and worship some new approach, to fully reject it a generation later, to realize the need for it again a generation or two after that and then hastily reinvent it as new, usually without its original elegance. Scientists hated to look backward for anything Picture Quote #1

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Deep inside, she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often even funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all Picture Quote #1

Listen, baby, people do funny things. Specially us. The cards are stacked against us and just trying to stay in the game, stay alive and in the game, makes us do funny things. Things we can’t help. Things that make us hurt one another. We don’t even know why Picture Quote #1

It’s funny how people mark their lives, the benchmarks they choose to decide when the moment is more of a moment than any other. For life is made of them. I like to think the best ones of all are in my mind, that they run through my blood in their own memory bank for no one else but me to see Picture Quote #1

When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death Picture Quote #1

That’s a funny thing: you think, when awful things happen, everything else just stops, like you would forget to pee and eat and get thirsty, but it’s not really true. It’s like you and your body are two separate things, like your body is betraying you, chugging on, idiotic and animal, craving water and sandwiches and bathroom breaks while your world falls apart Picture Quote #1

I want to hold onto this funny thing. God, it’s gotten big on me. I don’t know what it is. I’m so damned unhappy, I’m so mad, and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m putting on weight. I feel fat. I feel like I’m saving a lot of things, and I don’t know what. I might even start reading books Picture Quote #1

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Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within Picture Quote #1

The last couple of years were hell. Like, I can’t even tell you, it was so hard. I didn’t know how to handle it. But I think I’m in a much better place now, because I stepped away for a second and took a breath. Hollywood is a funny place. It offers so much, but it can also take a lot away from you Picture Quote #1

I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes Picture Quote #1

I’m not a man who constantly thinks up jokes. But I think it’s very important to be able to see the funny side of life and its joyful dimension and not to take everything too tragically. I’d also say it’s necessary for my ministry. A writer once said that angels can fly because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Maybe we could also fly a bit if we didn’t think we were so important Picture Quote #1

It’s funny: By putting up walls, you think you’re protecting yourself, but you get to live less. You’re depriving yourself of so much if you’re trying to be too aware of what you’re putting out there. If you feel someone breaking those walls down, let them. Those are the people that you need to find in life, rather than people that you’re just comfortable with Picture Quote #1

It’s funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as if it was yesterday. Me, I’ve no idea what I did. It’s all a blur, I’m afraid Picture Quote #1

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If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. I’ve done my superhero gig Picture Quote #1

Every movie I do, or when I’m on the sketch comedy show, I don’t really get into it until I have an outfit or something funny with my head or face or something Picture Quote #1

Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it’s a form of sacrament Picture Quote #1

I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was Picture Quote #1

Well what’s funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, bob’s hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured Picture Quote #1

When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The funny thing is, I don’t actually think of myself as fat at all. I don’t think I am. Not really (Funny Quotes) In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not (Funny Quotes) The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine that vein a lot. This isn’t just common to me; it’s anybody who’s funny (Funny Quotes) I’ve always enjoyed watching characters that aren’t aware that they’re doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier (Funny Quotes) I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn’t want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn’t have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It’s funny because I’d always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn’t think that I would be in the movies (Funny Quotes) Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else’s expense. And I find that that’s just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings (Funny Quotes) Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon (Funny Quotes) Isn’t it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks (Funny Quotes) Sitting on the floor, I’d replay the past in my head. Funny, that’s all I did, day after day after day for half a year, and I never tired of it. What I’d been through seemed so vast, with so many facets. Vast, but real, very real, which was why the experience persisted in towering before me, like a monument lit up at night. And the thing was, it was a monument to me (Funny Quotes) The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people seem to take it for granted? It’s like they think it won’t ever change. Just like this house here. All it ever needed was a little attention, and it would never have ended up like this in the first place (Funny Quotes) It was funny how the old practices always came around again. It was the rhythm of human enterprise to invent and worship some new approach, to fully reject it a generation later, to realize the need for it again a generation or two after that and then hastily reinvent it as new, usually without its original elegance. Scientists hated to look backward for anything (Funny Quotes) Deep inside, she knew who she was, and that person was smart and kind and often even funny, but somehow her personality always got lost somewhere between her heart and her mouth, and she found herself saying the wrong thing or, more often, nothing at all (Funny Quotes) Listen, baby, people do funny things. Specially us. The cards are stacked against us and just trying to stay in the game, stay alive and in the game, makes us do funny things. Things we can’t help. Things that make us hurt one another. We don’t even know why (Funny Quotes) It’s funny how people mark their lives, the benchmarks they choose to decide when the moment is more of a moment than any other. For life is made of them. I like to think the best ones of all are in my mind, that they run through my blood in their own memory bank for no one else but me to see (Funny Quotes) When I was little, my friends would gush over wedding gowns and honeymoons. But I saw too many people flush decades together down the toilet over money or kids or meaningless flings. My own parents chose to stay married, which I think is rather funny, since they show about as much affection for each other as pit bulls in a ring. Tying the knot means slipping a noose around love and choking it to death (Funny Quotes) That’s a funny thing: you think, when awful things happen, everything else just stops, like you would forget to pee and eat and get thirsty, but it’s not really true. It’s like you and your body are two separate things, like your body is betraying you, chugging on, idiotic and animal, craving water and sandwiches and bathroom breaks while your world falls apart (Funny Quotes) I want to hold onto this funny thing. God, it’s gotten big on me. I don’t know what it is. I’m so damned unhappy, I’m so mad, and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m putting on weight. I feel fat. I feel like I’m saving a lot of things, and I don’t know what. I might even start reading books (Funny Quotes) Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within (Funny Quotes) The last couple of years were hell. Like, I can’t even tell you, it was so hard. I didn’t know how to handle it. But I think I’m in a much better place now, because I stepped away for a second and took a breath. Hollywood is a funny place. It offers so much, but it can also take a lot away from you (Funny Quotes) I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes (Funny Quotes) I’m not a man who constantly thinks up jokes. But I think it’s very important to be able to see the funny side of life and its joyful dimension and not to take everything too tragically. I’d also say it’s necessary for my ministry. A writer once said that angels can fly because they don’t take themselves too seriously. Maybe we could also fly a bit if we didn’t think we were so important (Funny Quotes) It’s funny: By putting up walls, you think you’re protecting yourself, but you get to live less. You’re depriving yourself of so much if you’re trying to be too aware of what you’re putting out there. If you feel someone breaking those walls down, let them. Those are the people that you need to find in life, rather than people that you’re just comfortable with (Funny Quotes) It’s funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as if it was yesterday. Me, I’ve no idea what I did. It’s all a blur, I’m afraid (Funny Quotes) If I ever do anything, it actually might be some fantasy elf thing or even some cute, funny thing. Just to do something a little bit out of the ordinary. I’ve done my superhero gig (Funny Quotes) Every movie I do, or when I’m on the sketch comedy show, I don’t really get into it until I have an outfit or something funny with my head or face or something (Funny Quotes) Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it’s a form of sacrament (Funny Quotes) I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was (Funny Quotes) Well what’s funny is, again, people say they believed what was going on, but again, bob’s hands are about three times bigger than his feet. So these are very caricatured (Funny Quotes) When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not (Funny Quotes)

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