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Funny Valentines Day Quotes

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Do you have a date for Valentine’s day? Yes. February 14th  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Do not touch me  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Missing: This guy. Last seen: February 14th. Presumed dead  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) How I thought Valentine’s Day would turn out. How it actually turned out  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) People who will be my Valentine  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I’m obsessed with you in a non-creepy way  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I find you perfectly tolerable  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Happy Valentines day. Shut up  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Valentine's day in Texas  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) A man is only as good as what he loves  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Friend: What are your plans for this Valentine’s? Me: Killing everyone who is asking me this!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Love and a cough cannot be hid  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine’s Day gift for their mother? Doens’t that freak you out a little? It’s like, ‘I don’t know how to break this to you but I think she’s banging your dad!’  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Women are cursed, and men are the proof  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you’re old  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Today is February 14th - St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I love Valentine’s Day. When you’re a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It’s like ‘TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT’. It’s Valentines galore!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Valentines Day = Single Awareness Day  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) When you’re in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes) Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter  (Funny Valentines Day Quotes)
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