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Garrison Keillor Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
As for family values, they are whatever they are - some families are tight, others are blown away like dandelion puffs. A main value in Minnesota is still: don’t waste my time, don’t B.S. me, I wasn’t born yesterday (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn’t predict (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
That’s the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don’t think there is any obligation to be clever at all. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
My ability to keep cool in a crisis is based entirely on not knowing all the facts (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
A man can’t eat anger for breakfast and sleep with it at night and not suffer damage to his soul. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
It?s a beautiful descent in a 737, into the Bitterroot Valley, following the Clark Fork River, on a perfect golden autumn day . (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
You don’t have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
I’m not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn’t think my schedule looked so busy. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don’t put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don’t feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn’t funny. It’s a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it’s not a surprise anymore. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
It’s confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don’t stress about some stuff that made you so worried. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That’s what they do for a living. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
I don’t have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Face it: a nation that maintains a 72% approval rating on George W. Bush is a nation with a very loose grip on reality. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It’s not the point of the thing, is it? (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Freedom doesn’t mean aimlessness. We can’t just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o’clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
That’s why God created marriage, so people wouldn’t have to fight with strangers (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. (Garrison Keillor Quotes)