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George Burns Quotes

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don’t have something to hang on to I might fall down Picture Quote #1

I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect Picture Quote #1

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up Picture Quote #1

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate Picture Quote #1

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere Picture Quote #1

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age Picture Quote #1

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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made Picture Quote #1

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down Picture Quote #1

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life Picture Quote #1

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it Picture Quote #1

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty Picture Quote #1

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible Picture Quote #1

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This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two Picture Quote #1

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair Picture Quote #1

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there Picture Quote #1

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile Picture Quote #1

If I get big laughs, I’m a comedian. If I get little laughs, I’m a humorist. If I get no laughs, I’m a singer Picture Quote #1

Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist Picture Quote #1

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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody Picture Quote #1

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights Picture Quote #1

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast Picture Quote #1

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it Picture Quote #1

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch Picture Quote #1

A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn’t started yet Picture Quote #1

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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives Picture Quote #1

If I had taken my doctor’s advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn’t have lived to go to his funeral Picture Quote #1

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too Picture Quote #1

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don’t wear anything else on it... like lunch or dinner Picture Quote #1

Everyday happiness means you can’t wait to come home, because the soup is hot Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don’t have something to hang on to I might fall down (George Burns Quotes) I was always taught to respect my elders and I’ve now reached the age when I don’t have anybody to respect (George Burns Quotes) Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up (George Burns Quotes) I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate (George Burns Quotes) I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere (George Burns Quotes) If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age (George Burns Quotes) Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made (George Burns Quotes) First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down (George Burns Quotes) I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life (George Burns Quotes) If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it (George Burns Quotes) It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty (George Burns Quotes) The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible (George Burns Quotes) This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two (George Burns Quotes) Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair (George Burns Quotes) You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there (George Burns Quotes) When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile (George Burns Quotes) If I get big laughs, I’m a comedian. If I get little laughs, I’m a humorist. If I get no laughs, I’m a singer (George Burns Quotes) Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist (George Burns Quotes) I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody (George Burns Quotes) When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it’s time to turn out the lights (George Burns Quotes) I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name’s not there, I eat breakfast (George Burns Quotes) If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it (George Burns Quotes) I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch (George Burns Quotes) A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn’t started yet (George Burns Quotes) Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives (George Burns Quotes) If I had taken my doctor’s advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn’t have lived to go to his funeral (George Burns Quotes) Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too (George Burns Quotes) Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don’t wear anything else on it... like lunch or dinner (George Burns Quotes) Everyday happiness means you can’t wait to come home, because the soup is hot (George Burns Quotes) I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem (George Burns Quotes)

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