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George Carlin Quotes

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel Picture Quote #1

It’s difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too Picture Quote #1

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying Picture Quote #1

I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence? Picture Quote #1

And now gay people want to get married... Haven’t they suffered enough? Picture Quote #1

When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do Picture Quote #1

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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever Picture Quote #1

Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We’re not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast Picture Quote #1

Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don’t ask me to wear your shoes Picture Quote #1

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day Picture Quote #1

To me the cynics are the ones in the boardrooms with the reports from the focus groups Picture Quote #1

All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English Picture Quote #1

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I do this real moron thing, it’s called thinking, and I’m not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions Picture Quote #1

Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t Picture Quote #1

The things they don’t tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything Picture Quote #1

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes Picture Quote #1

The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there’s no question that it’s sort of fun to get high Picture Quote #1

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens Picture Quote #1

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I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio Picture Quote #1

Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country Picture Quote #1

Every day I think, ‘Gosh, I wish I could be like George Carlin, Bill Maher: I want that edge.’ But every time I start to get that edgy thing, I get kind of mean Picture Quote #1

One of my greatest inspirations for stand-up was Jonathan Winters. He was a genius. One thing about him, and also Lenny Bruce, is that they were in the tradition of the one-man show. That’s why Richard Pryor was so great, and George Carlin, too. They prowled the stage, they used voices, they were really talents Picture Quote #1

Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics Picture Quote #1

George Carlin is an influence on a generation. He made me want to do comedy Picture Quote #1

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George Carlin put it best. He said, My old act was so easy to do because there was so little of me in it Picture Quote #1

I’m trying to think if there was ever the Lenny Bruce-y, observational, George Carlin kind of magician: You know what I hate is ... I don’t think that ever existed Picture Quote #1

Young stand-ups, we ought to do comedy in George Carlin’s spirit, in Richard Pryor’s spirit, in Jackie Gleason’s spirit, in Lucille Ball’s spirit, because they did it with the spirit Picture Quote #1

If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They’re all stand alone essays Picture Quote #1

I had one really memorable line. It was all the words you’re not allowed to say on the airwaves, so it’s one long list of swear words. I knew it anyway, because I was a huge George Carlin fan Picture Quote #1

Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it’s different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel. (George Carlin Quotes) It’s difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too. (George Carlin Quotes) Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying. (George Carlin Quotes) I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence? (George Carlin Quotes) And now gay people want to get married... Haven’t they suffered enough? (George Carlin Quotes) When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do. (George Carlin Quotes) Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. (George Carlin Quotes) Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We’re not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast. (George Carlin Quotes) Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don’t ask me to wear your shoes. (George Carlin Quotes) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (George Carlin Quotes) To me the cynics are the ones in the boardrooms with the reports from the focus groups (George Carlin Quotes) All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English (George Carlin Quotes) I do this real moron thing, it’s called thinking, and I’m not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions (George Carlin Quotes) Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. (George Carlin Quotes) The things they don’t tell you in schools these days, geez. Have a look at your owners. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice; you have owners. They own you. They own everything. (George Carlin Quotes) Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes. (George Carlin Quotes) The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there’s no question that it’s sort of fun to get high. (George Carlin Quotes) I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens. (George Carlin Quotes) I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio (George Carlin Quotes) Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country (George Carlin Quotes) Every day I think, ‘Gosh, I wish I could be like George Carlin, Bill Maher: I want that edge.’ But every time I start to get that edgy thing, I get kind of mean. (George Carlin Quotes) One of my greatest inspirations for stand-up was Jonathan Winters. He was a genius. One thing about him, and also Lenny Bruce, is that they were in the tradition of the one-man show. That’s why Richard Pryor was so great, and George Carlin, too. They prowled the stage, they used voices, they were really talents. (George Carlin Quotes) Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics. (George Carlin Quotes) George Carlin is an influence on a generation. He made me want to do comedy. (George Carlin Quotes) George Carlin put it best. He said, My old act was so easy to do because there was so little of me in it. (George Carlin Quotes) I’m trying to think if there was ever the Lenny Bruce-y, observational, George Carlin kind of magician: You know what I hate is ... I don’t think that ever existed. (George Carlin Quotes) Young stand-ups, we ought to do comedy in George Carlin’s spirit, in Richard Pryor’s spirit, in Jackie Gleason’s spirit, in Lucille Ball’s spirit, because they did it with the spirit. (George Carlin Quotes) If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They’re all stand alone essays. (George Carlin Quotes) I had one really memorable line. It was all the words you’re not allowed to say on the airwaves, so it’s one long list of swear words. I knew it anyway, because I was a huge George Carlin fan. (George Carlin Quotes) Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it’s different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me. (George Carlin Quotes)

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