Advertisements
George Carlin Quotes
![[George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It’s live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It’s a network; you’ve got to be off. And it’s perfect Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/3/1003/1002462/1002462.webp "[George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It’s live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It’s a network; you’ve got to be off. And it’s perfect Picture Quote #1")
![I’m telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/3/1003/1002463/1002463.webp "I’m telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order Picture Quote #1")
![You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It’s the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/3/1003/1002464/1002464.webp "You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It’s the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly Picture Quote #1")
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
![It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I’d write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/3/1039/1038050/1038050.webp "It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I’d write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke Picture Quote #1")
Advertisements
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Advertisements
Text Quotes
[George Carlin] was obsessive about time; he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It’s live; you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It’s a network; you’ve got to be off. And it’s perfect. (George Carlin Quotes)
I’m telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order. (George Carlin Quotes)
You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It’s the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly. (George Carlin Quotes)
One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired. (George Carlin Quotes)
Life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death. (George Carlin Quotes)
I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God’s way of punishing my nose. (George Carlin Quotes)
If a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you’ve had enough. (George Carlin Quotes)
You can’t be the fastest gun in town forever. There comes a time when you’re not the golden boy, and you have to go off somewhere and figure yourself out. (George Carlin Quotes)
I consider the coke a major cause. Of course, you could also make the argument that because cocaine speeds up the heart, it’s good for you. (George Carlin Quotes)
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. (George Carlin Quotes)
I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she’s laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke. (George Carlin Quotes)
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy. (George Carlin Quotes)
I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn’t need school for what I wanted. (George Carlin Quotes)
Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don’t kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing. (George Carlin Quotes)
I really haven’t seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration. (George Carlin Quotes)
Cocaine was different. It kept saying, You haven’t had enough. I became an abuser almost instantly. (George Carlin Quotes)
To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn’t need guidance from. (George Carlin Quotes)
Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. (George Carlin Quotes)
It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I’d write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke. (George Carlin Quotes)
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going (George Carlin Quotes)
Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that (George Carlin Quotes)
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit (George Carlin Quotes)
I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death (George Carlin Quotes)
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work (George Carlin Quotes)
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck (George Carlin Quotes)
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established (George Carlin Quotes)
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom (George Carlin Quotes)
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, you know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done (George Carlin Quotes)
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? (George Carlin Quotes)
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent (George Carlin Quotes)