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George Carlin Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
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Text Quotes
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else (George Carlin Quotes)
I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam (George Carlin Quotes)
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? (George Carlin Quotes)
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? (George Carlin Quotes)
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? (George Carlin Quotes)
Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine (George Carlin Quotes)
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music (George Carlin Quotes)
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers (George Carlin Quotes)
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point (George Carlin Quotes)
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store (George Carlin Quotes)
She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across (George Carlin Quotes)
There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it (George Carlin Quotes)
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders (George Carlin Quotes)
Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client? (George Carlin Quotes)
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire (George Carlin Quotes)
These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people (George Carlin Quotes)
I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious (George Carlin Quotes)
History is not happenstance: it is conspiratorial. Carefully planned and executed by people in power (George Carlin Quotes)
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? (George Carlin Quotes)
Children should be taught to question everything... everything they read and everything they hear (George Carlin Quotes)
The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument (George Carlin Quotes)
Censorship that comes from the outside assumes about people an inability to make reasoned choices (George Carlin Quotes)
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot (George Carlin Quotes)
If people stand in a circle long enough, they’ll eventually begin to dance (George Carlin Quotes)
Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft (George Carlin Quotes)
All patriarchal societies are either preparing for war, at war, or recovering from war (George Carlin Quotes)
I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin (George Carlin Quotes)
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death (George Carlin Quotes)
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you (George Carlin Quotes)
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three day weekend (George Carlin Quotes)