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George Carlin Quotes

Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing Picture Quote #1

There’s some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you Picture Quote #1

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse Picture Quote #1

Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don’t have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you’d make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people Picture Quote #1

Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only product that, if used as intended, kills the consumer Picture Quote #1

$Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions Picture Quote #1$

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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead Picture Quote #1

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person Picture Quote #1

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you’re really looking Picture Quote #1

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It’s a shame everything has to have a label Picture Quote #1

If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything alive is gonna die... where does the sacred part come in? Picture Quote #1

Why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? Picture Quote #1

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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don’t ask me to wear your shoes Picture Quote #1

Their only words. You can’t be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it’s an unpleasant truth Picture Quote #1

Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view Picture Quote #1

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons Picture Quote #1

Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t Picture Quote #1

I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven’t changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now Picture Quote #1

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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it Picture Quote #1

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years Picture Quote #1

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment Picture Quote #1

That’s the whole meaning of life, isn’t it? Trying to find a place for your stuff Picture Quote #1

Even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while Picture Quote #1

If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable? Picture Quote #1

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This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal Picture Quote #1

Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it’s not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it’s still there? Picture Quote #1

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don’t ask for our money back Picture Quote #1

I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep Picture Quote #1

If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn’t that weird? Picture Quote #1

No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Sun worship is fairly simple. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing (George Carlin Quotes) There’s some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you (George Carlin Quotes) When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse (George Carlin Quotes) Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don’t have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you’d make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people (George Carlin Quotes) Cigarette companies market heavily to young people. They need young customers because their product kills the older ones. It is the only product that, if used as intended, kills the consumer (George Carlin Quotes) Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions (George Carlin Quotes) You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead (George Carlin Quotes) When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person (George Carlin Quotes) Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you’re really looking (George Carlin Quotes) For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It’s a shame everything has to have a label (George Carlin Quotes) If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything alive is gonna die... where does the sacred part come in? (George Carlin Quotes) Why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? (George Carlin Quotes) Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don’t ask me to wear your shoes (George Carlin Quotes) Their only words. You can’t be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it’s an unpleasant truth (George Carlin Quotes) Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view (George Carlin Quotes) When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons (George Carlin Quotes) Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t (George Carlin Quotes) I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven’t changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now (George Carlin Quotes) The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it (George Carlin Quotes) We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years (George Carlin Quotes) There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment (George Carlin Quotes) That’s the whole meaning of life, isn’t it? Trying to find a place for your stuff (George Carlin Quotes) Even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while (George Carlin Quotes) If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable? (George Carlin Quotes) This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal (George Carlin Quotes) Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it’s not there anymore? And then when you take it off it feels like it’s still there? (George Carlin Quotes) Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don’t ask for our money back (George Carlin Quotes) I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep (George Carlin Quotes) If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn’t that weird? (George Carlin Quotes) No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to (George Carlin Quotes)

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