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George Carlin Quotes

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity Picture Quote #1

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life Picture Quote #1

Rhetoric paints with a broad brush Picture Quote #1

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is Picture Quote #1

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic Picture Quote #1

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it Picture Quote #1

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Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure Picture Quote #1

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Picture Quote #1

Trying to be happy be accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body Picture Quote #1

I love individuals. Every person you look at you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking Picture Quote #1

Where do we get our values from? Picture Quote #1

We created God in our own image and likeness! Picture Quote #1

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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes Picture Quote #1

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal Picture Quote #1

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor Picture Quote #1

Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist Picture Quote #1

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath Picture Quote #1

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? Picture Quote #1

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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think Picture Quote #1

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck Picture Quote #1

Tits always look better in a pink sweater Picture Quote #1

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Picture Quote #1

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Picture Quote #1

Life is tough, then you die Picture Quote #1

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Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say Picture Quote #1

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music Picture Quote #1

How is it possible to have a civil war? Picture Quote #1

Life is a series of dogs Picture Quote #1

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy Picture Quote #1

Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity (George Carlin Quotes) The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life (George Carlin Quotes) Rhetoric paints with a broad brush (George Carlin Quotes) The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is (George Carlin Quotes) You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic (George Carlin Quotes) Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it (George Carlin Quotes) Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure (George Carlin Quotes) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? (George Carlin Quotes) Trying to be happy be accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body (George Carlin Quotes) I love individuals. Every person you look at you can see the universe in their eyes if you're really looking (George Carlin Quotes) Where do we get our values from? (George Carlin Quotes) We created God in our own image and likeness! (George Carlin Quotes) Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes (George Carlin Quotes) If voting changed anything, it would be illegal (George Carlin Quotes) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor (George Carlin Quotes) Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist (George Carlin Quotes) Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath (George Carlin Quotes) Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? (George Carlin Quotes) I think I am, therefore, I am... I think (George Carlin Quotes) I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck (George Carlin Quotes) Tits always look better in a pink sweater (George Carlin Quotes) Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (George Carlin Quotes) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? (George Carlin Quotes) Life is tough, then you die (George Carlin Quotes) Pardon me I’ve got nothing to say (George Carlin Quotes) The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music (George Carlin Quotes) How is it possible to have a civil war? (George Carlin Quotes) Life is a series of dogs (George Carlin Quotes) I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy (George Carlin Quotes) Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life (George Carlin Quotes)

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