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George Carlin Quotes

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else Picture Quote #1

I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam Picture Quote #1

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Picture Quote #1

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? Picture Quote #1

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Picture Quote #1

Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine Picture Quote #1

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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music Picture Quote #1

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers Picture Quote #1

The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store Picture Quote #1

She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across Picture Quote #1

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it Picture Quote #1

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders Picture Quote #1

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Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client? Picture Quote #1

If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire Picture Quote #1

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people Picture Quote #1

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious Picture Quote #1

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? Picture Quote #1

The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument Picture Quote #1

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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot Picture Quote #1

If people stand in a circle long enough, they’ll eventually begin to dance Picture Quote #1

Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft Picture Quote #1

I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin Picture Quote #1

When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat Picture Quote #1

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be Picture Quote #1

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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles Picture Quote #1

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid Picture Quote #1

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions Picture Quote #1

I'm a high tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art bi coastal multi-asker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! Picture Quote #1

Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal meth. Crack cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade Picture Quote #1

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else (George Carlin Quotes) I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam (George Carlin Quotes) Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? (George Carlin Quotes) Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? (George Carlin Quotes) Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? (George Carlin Quotes) Let’s not have a double standard. One standard will do just fine (George Carlin Quotes) Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music (George Carlin Quotes) Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers (George Carlin Quotes) The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store (George Carlin Quotes) She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across (George Carlin Quotes) There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it (George Carlin Quotes) If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders (George Carlin Quotes) Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client? (George Carlin Quotes) If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire (George Carlin Quotes) These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people (George Carlin Quotes) I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious (George Carlin Quotes) Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? (George Carlin Quotes) The God excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument (George Carlin Quotes) There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot (George Carlin Quotes) If people stand in a circle long enough, they’ll eventually begin to dance (George Carlin Quotes) Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft (George Carlin Quotes) I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin (George Carlin Quotes) When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. If you're born in America you get a front row seat (George Carlin Quotes) Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be (George Carlin Quotes) They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles (George Carlin Quotes) Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid (George Carlin Quotes) I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions (George Carlin Quotes) I'm a high tech low life. A cutting edge, state of the art bi coastal multi-asker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! (George Carlin Quotes) Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal meth. Crack cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade (George Carlin Quotes) Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience (George Carlin Quotes)

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