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Greg Behrendt Quotes

Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don’t every time Picture Quote #1

I’m tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships Picture Quote #1

Alone also means available for someone outstanding Picture Quote #1

Young people are gross with their faces and their hope Picture Quote #1

People don’t admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks Picture Quote #1

The great thing about comedy is that the longer you’ve been alive, the more you have to talk about and the better you get. I’ve got some miles and some road savviness that some other guys don’t have Picture Quote #1

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If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy Picture Quote #1

I don’t know if you know you’re funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I’m funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn’t make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel like I’m pulling the wool over people’s eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do Picture Quote #1

As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that’s why I call her as often as I do Picture Quote #1

So, I’m 34. I’m kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, ‘Dude, dude, don’t - those are the good plates Picture Quote #1

My wife’s beautiful. That’s why I married her. Because I want to see her every day Picture Quote #1

The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it’s over - it’s over. No more confusion! Picture Quote #1

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There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend Picture Quote #1

I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That’s too much pressure to put on a relationship Picture Quote #1

He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out Picture Quote #1

Be yourself. If something you do doesn’t work, don’t do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is Picture Quote #1

I’ve learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work Picture Quote #1

My buddy Tom... he’d been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening Picture Quote #1

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The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive Picture Quote #1

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company Picture Quote #1

I love to eat. That’s why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don’t walk away from a meal hurting, I didn’t do it right. If I don’t walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I’ve been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn’t do it right Picture Quote #1

Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It’s easy to confuse love with fear Picture Quote #1

Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing Picture Quote #1

There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you’re Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it’s your relationship that’s insecure, not his bank account Picture Quote #1

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A good indication that it’s not is if you’re only staying with What’s His Name because you’re scared Picture Quote #1

First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfrien Picture Quote #1

It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself Picture Quote #1

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it Picture Quote #1

When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can’t keep his eyes or hands off of you Picture Quote #1

There’s a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don’t every time (Greg Behrendt Quotes) I’m tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Alone also means available for someone outstanding (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Young people are gross with their faces and their hope (Greg Behrendt Quotes) People don’t admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) The great thing about comedy is that the longer you’ve been alive, the more you have to talk about and the better you get. I’ve got some miles and some road savviness that some other guys don’t have. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you - including a fear of intimacy. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) I don’t know if you know you’re funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I’m funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn’t make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel like I’m pulling the wool over people’s eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that’s why I call her as often as I do. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) So, I’m 34. I’m kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day, I said to somebody, ‘Dude, dude, don’t - those are the good plates. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) My wife’s beautiful. That’s why I married her. Because I want to see her every day. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it’s over - it’s over. No more confusion! (Greg Behrendt Quotes) There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) I believe in love in hindsight, meaning attraction and connection can be remembered as love at first sight. But how could you possibly know at first sight? That’s too much pressure to put on a relationship. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) He’s just not that into you if he’s not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Be yourself. If something you do doesn’t work, don’t do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) I’ve learned that anything in life worth having comes from patience and hard work (Greg Behrendt Quotes) My buddy Tom... he’d been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are not hiding anything, and you still have a life of your own. The other best thing is sex - that is a super positive (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company (Greg Behrendt Quotes) I love to eat. That’s why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don’t walk away from a meal hurting, I didn’t do it right. If I don’t walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I’ve been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn’t do it right (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Feeling in love (or lust) and fear feel a lot alike. They both give you that anxious butterfly feeling in your stomach, a sense of excitement, and a general unease physically and mentally. It’s easy to confuse love with fear (Greg Behrendt Quotes) Breakups hurt like a motherf*#ker, but they are not the end of the world. The pain is temporary, and if handled properly, they can even be life-changing (Greg Behrendt Quotes) There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you’re Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it’s your relationship that’s insecure, not his bank account (Greg Behrendt Quotes) A good indication that it’s not is if you’re only staying with What’s His Name because you’re scared (Greg Behrendt Quotes) First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfrien (Greg Behrendt Quotes) It`s your version of whatever that is. We use those words because they are kind of empowering. Try to get back into your life and get back on track with dreams you have. There`s nothing more attractive than a person who likes herself. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it (Greg Behrendt Quotes) When a guy is into you, he lets you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can’t keep his eyes or hands off of you. (Greg Behrendt Quotes) There’s a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him. (Greg Behrendt Quotes)

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