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Groucho Marx Quotes
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I am a man and you are a woman. I can’t think of a better arrangement (Groucho Marx Quotes)
You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and that’s not saying much for you (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses-On second thought, just let me cover your face (Groucho Marx Quotes)
With a little study you’ll go a long ways, and I wish you’d start now (Groucho Marx Quotes)
My brother thinks he’s a chicken-We don’t talk him out of it because we need the eggs (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Madam, you’re making history, in fact, you’re making me, and I wish you’d keep my hands to yourself (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I’ve met a lot of pin-up girls, but I’ve never been able to pin one down (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I think you’ve got something there, but I’ll wait outside until you clean it up (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Some day there will have to be some new rules established about name-calling. I don’t mean the routine cursing that goes on between husband and wife, but the naming of defenseless, unsuspecting babies (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I know a member of one of New York’s first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue) (Groucho Marx Quotes)
A cigar makers organization once said that I was the most famous cigar smoker in the world. I don’t know if thats true, but once while visiting Havana, I went to a cigar factory. There were four hundred people there rolling cigars, and when they saw me, they all stood up and applauded (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he’s unknown throughout the world (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I started smoking as soon as I went on the stage. I’d make cigars out of the Morning World when I was a kid (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Now there’s a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! (Groucho Marx Quotes)
There’s one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, ‘Yes,’ you know he is a crook. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Groucho: You know I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don’t mind lying if it gets me somewhere. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera! (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn’t time to dig trenches. We’ll have to buy them ready made. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
It isn’t so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I would never join a country club with standards so low as to allow me as a member (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Two women at a resort discussed dinner: The food here is lousy, the first noted. You’re right! And such small portions!! the second added (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
The Two Most Important Words In The World Are Honesty And Sincerity, If You Can Fake These You’ve Got It Made. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
There’s only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women (Groucho Marx Quotes)
You’ve got a goal in life. I’ve got a goal. Now all we need is a football team. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them... well, I have others. (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I’m not going to pay good money to join a club that lets in people like me (Groucho Marx Quotes)