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Groucho Marx Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it (Groucho Marx Quotes)
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That’s the price she has to pay (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book (Groucho Marx Quotes)
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I never go to movies where the hero’s tits are bigger than the heroine’s (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere (Groucho Marx Quotes)
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Groucho: You know I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don’t mind lying if it gets me somewhere (Groucho Marx Quotes)
While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery (Groucho Marx Quotes)
She’s so in love with me, she doesn’t know anything. That’s why she’s in love with me (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going (Groucho Marx Quotes)
I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed. Somebody once said it’s what you don’t see you’re interested in, and this is true (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’re probably watching the wrong channel (Groucho Marx Quotes)
This isn’t a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed (Groucho Marx Quotes)
You’re a great brother. You give us a heart attack worrying about your heart attack, which you didn’t even have the decency to have! (Groucho Marx Quotes)
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Well, art is art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor (Groucho Marx Quotes)
As soon as I get through with you, you’ll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn’t time to dig trenches. We’ll have to buy them ready made (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did (Groucho Marx Quotes)
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren’t developed... But we’re going back next week (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! (Groucho Marx Quotes)
Don’t look now, but there’s one too many in this room and I think it’s you (Groucho Marx Quotes)
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written (Groucho Marx Quotes)