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Groucho Marx Quotes

He’s so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he’d burn for three days Picture Quote #1

You’ve got a goal in life. I’ve got a goal. Now all we need is a football team Picture Quote #1

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife Picture Quote #1

Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house Picture Quote #1

Hey, when I said work fast, I didn’t mean your friend, I meant the maid Picture Quote #1

I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn’t have a tape measure Picture Quote #1

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If they’d lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I’d settle here until the next earthquake Picture Quote #1

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning Picture Quote #1

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters Picture Quote #1

She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll become the life of the party Picture Quote #1

Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married Picture Quote #1

Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this won’t come as much of a surprise Picture Quote #1

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I’d like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they’re working on now Picture Quote #1

I’ve known and respected your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me Picture Quote #1

I’m gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there’ll be no cover charge Picture Quote #1

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it Picture Quote #1

Remember, the grass is always greener where you don’t happen to be the neighbor Picture Quote #1

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight Picture Quote #1

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I don’t have a photograph. I’d give you my footprints, but they’re upstairs in my socks Picture Quote #1

That’s what I always say. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo Picture Quote #1

I don’t know what they have to say, it makes no difference anyway, whatever it is, I’m against it Picture Quote #1

If you can’t get a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff Picture Quote #1

He may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot Picture Quote #1

Remember you’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably more than she ever did Picture Quote #1

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I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork Picture Quote #1

My advice to you and to all struggling actresses, is this: Keep struggling. If you keep struggling, you won’t get into trouble; and if you don’t get into trouble, you’ll never be much of an actress Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

He’s so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he’d burn for three days (Groucho Marx Quotes) You’ve got a goal in life. I’ve got a goal. Now all we need is a football team (Groucho Marx Quotes) We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife (Groucho Marx Quotes) Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house (Groucho Marx Quotes) Hey, when I said work fast, I didn’t mean your friend, I meant the maid (Groucho Marx Quotes) I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn’t have a tape measure (Groucho Marx Quotes) If they’d lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I’d settle here until the next earthquake (Groucho Marx Quotes) Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning (Groucho Marx Quotes) The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters (Groucho Marx Quotes) She’s afraid that if she leaves, she’ll become the life of the party (Groucho Marx Quotes) Obviously there was no point in being a bachelor if his houseman was going to filch his booze. If he was going to get robbed, he might just as well get married (Groucho Marx Quotes) Love had forged ahead so swiftly that in no time it had displaced agriculture as the leading industry of the period. To anyone who has tried both, this won’t come as much of a surprise (Groucho Marx Quotes) I’d like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they’re working on now (Groucho Marx Quotes) I’ve known and respected your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me (Groucho Marx Quotes) I’m gonna put extra blankets, free, in all your rooms, and there’ll be no cover charge (Groucho Marx Quotes) A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it (Groucho Marx Quotes) Remember, the grass is always greener where you don’t happen to be the neighbor (Groucho Marx Quotes) John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight (Groucho Marx Quotes) I don’t have a photograph. I’d give you my footprints, but they’re upstairs in my socks (Groucho Marx Quotes) That’s what I always say. Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo (Groucho Marx Quotes) I don’t know what they have to say, it makes no difference anyway, whatever it is, I’m against it (Groucho Marx Quotes) If you can’t get a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff (Groucho Marx Quotes) He may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot (Groucho Marx Quotes) Remember you’re fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably more than she ever did (Groucho Marx Quotes) I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork (Groucho Marx Quotes) My advice to you and to all struggling actresses, is this: Keep struggling. If you keep struggling, you won’t get into trouble; and if you don’t get into trouble, you’ll never be much of an actress (Groucho Marx Quotes)

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