I hate myself for still waiting for you

I hate myself for still waiting for you

I hate myself for still waiting for you. It's a feeling that consumes me, a constant battle between my heart and my mind. I know deep down that I deserve better, that I shouldn't be pining for someone who doesn't see my worth. But despite all the rational thoughts telling me to move on, my heart still holds onto hope.

I hate myself for allowing you to have this power over me. I hate that I still check my phone every five minutes, hoping for a text or a call from you. I hate that I still replay our memories in my mind, wondering where it all went wrong. I hate that I still hold onto the possibility of us rekindling what we once had.

I hate myself for not being able to let go. I know that holding onto you is only causing me pain, but I can't seem to shake this feeling of longing. I hate that I still believe in the idea of us, even though deep down I know it's probably never going to happen.

I hate myself for putting my happiness on hold for you. I've stopped going out with friends, stopped pursuing my passions, all because I'm still waiting for you to come back into my life. I hate that I've allowed you to become the center of my universe, when in reality, you should just be a small piece of the puzzle.

I hate myself for not being strong enough to walk away. I know that I deserve someone who will love me unconditionally, someone who will never make me question my worth. But despite all the red flags and warning signs, I still hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, you'll come back to me.

I hate myself for still waiting for you. But despite all the self-loathing and regret, a small part of me still believes that maybe, just maybe, you'll realize what you've lost and come back to me. And until that day comes, I'll continue to hate myself for still waiting for you.